Yes! You are among the many who suffer from anxiety, but refuse to give in to drugs for fear of addiction. I know; I'm exactly the same way! You won't get addicted because you're a Type A, most likely, and Type A's have to be in control...not a bad thing. It's that control that shakes us up so badly, when we feel like we're losing control. I know...it's a vicious cycle. Hold fast and know that you will only use the drugs when you absolutely have to. You will do everything you can to emotionally, physically, and spiritually bring yourself back to normal. And you will get back to normal. This is just one of those days; just like when you have a bad headache, for example. The headache goes away when you take aspirin, right? Anxiety goes away when you take an anti-anxiety medication...it's as simple as that. Oh, and when I start feeling anxiety coming on, I'll come back and read this message I just sent you:)!

Thank you so much for this post (and the response Lemonade). I was reading a journal entry I wrote over 30 years ago and I was in much the same place I am now. I will take xanex if it's incredibly bad - but that's once every few years. Day to day I have just built my life around the anxiety. Your post is helping me consider alternatives I haven't before.

Yes Lemonadef, that pretty much sums up who I am!! Do you have more information about type A personalities? It's so true, I have to be in control basically ALL the time. It's really great to know there's somebody who understands me. Sometimes I feel there must be something wrong with me to want to be that way, but well, it's a personality type :)

I will take your advice at heart. You're right, you take an aspirin when you have a headache, and in the same way you can take a benzo when you have a bad attack of anxiety.

Take care.

I'm so glad you found this post useful, Reed31. I too have lived a life full of anxiety, what with all my anxiety disorders, but through taking CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and reading extensively about other people's experiences, scientific journals, websites, etc., I learnt that we ourselves have the ability to diminish our anxiety once we learn how to do it and accept that we have that power. It's not easy, and it takes lots of patience with the ups and downs, but it's definitely doable. It's taken me years to come to this stage. It is likely that it will take me a few more to learn to be more relaxed, but I'm very willing to take the journey. At least this way it will feel like I'm doing something towards my wellbeing as opposed to passively accepting that I'll be anxious the rest of my life.

If you have the time, I recommend the following website:

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

It's a free program that teaches you skills to prevent depression, but since anxiety and depression are so interlinked it is also useful for anxiety. The course is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a psychotherapeutic approach that teaches you how you think about yourselves, others, and the world, and how this thinking affects your emotions and behavior.

I hope you have the time to check the website out, and take care.

Thank you! I will definitely look into the web site. I have done some CBT with some success around perfectionism. My most recent demon is the "shoulds" and "expectations" I believe others have of me - which often they don't! What a nutty hamster wheel to be on!

i really hate taking pills---but after my first few klonopin I was amazed that people could ever feel that calm...I'd never felt that calm! for me-i think the pills were essential for recovery...because i was such an anxiety ridden mess that i couldn't really function---and i couldn't really absorb what my therapist was saying--i think its helped a ton.

Yes Hypergal, I'm also amazed at how calm I felt. It was really remarkable. I was still worrying about my ear infection, but I was not having any psychosomatic symptoms, I wasn't sweating, my heartbeat was normal. It just felt great.

Hopefully, with tons of meditation and the right amount of exercise I'll be able to achieve the same results. It's going to take much longer (groan), but no GPs here in the UK want to prescribe more than 7 tablets at a time. I've told them time and time again I don't abuse pills; hey, I'm a teetotaler and don't smoke, but still they won't prescribe them. I've told them it's a crutch, not a permanent solution, but they won't budge. This is one of the reasons I've become fearful of them, because the GPs insist I will get addicted to them. I know I won't, anyway (sigh).