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I Just Dumped a Friend

GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727

I met this guy on Facebook about 2 years ago.  We went to breakfast about twice a month.  He was easy to make laugh.  But at some point, I got really bored with him.  For one, he is pathetic when it comes to his so-called girlfriend who broke up with him a year and a half ago.  He has settled for little texting and phone calls.  He has not seen her but brings wine to her house and leaves it in the mailbox.  By the way, she lives with a guy who is supposed to be her ex.  So I got disgusted with those stories.  Also, when we are at breakfast, he spends a lot of time on his phone.  I really didn't want to bother anymore.  In September, he stayed at a bed bug infested motel for a week.  I took him to breakfast for his birthday but kept looking for bugs on him.  I haven't seen him since.  I don't respond to him.  He finally said he would leave me alone but tonight he responded to a post on Facebook of mine.  I didn't respond.  He did another reply saying he didn't know what he did to me.  I didn't want to put him down so on Messenger I told him that sometimes friendships fizzle out, it happens to everyone and to let it go.  He called me a bitch and was nasty so I unfriended him.  I feel bad but he annoys me.  How would you have handled it?

BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
You could have done yourself the favor and blocked him when you decided not to respond to him. But I don't think you did anything "wrong." It's just easier if you do it immediately instead of drag it out.
adriasm
adriasm
Sounds like maybe he had hopes for your friendship evolving or maybe he has no friends. I personally would have been upfront with him when I decided I wasn’t going to hang out anymore instead of just ignoring. Kind but honest is sufficient and then I would have removed him from my FB. People need closure but I would feel terrible to set someone over the edge so I try to just say that there is a lack of connection in your friendship and that you have decided to focus on more meaningful, close friendships. If he asks why then I say listening about your ex stories was bothering me and the amount of time you were on your phone felt pointless. People need closure and I think it’s courteous.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks Blue and Adrian. I guess I'm a chicken. I did unfriend him on Facebook after he called me a bitch. Months back, I tried to reunite with an old very dear friend. She responded to my text and gave me her email address. I sent her an email and she never responded. I took the hint. I just wanted this guy to take the hint.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
Some people don't take a hint. I learned that the hard way for sure. I had the same problem of being unable to be direct with people. It happened with 2 different people and they never took the hint. Lesson learned lol.
hasty_05
hasty_05
I've gotten to the point of telling people what I am thinking but doing so in a kind way. But I also have dropped people who are not a good match. I think it is better to do so without conflict if I can.

People do get upset at being rejected. He reacted to what you said and felt rejected, what you said was true and kindly. There is no way to make emotionally dysfunctional people think or react well. So I would have expected him to get mad and let it go.

His reaction shows his anger management problem. So honestly, this is for the best. You dodged a bullet really.

We can't make people like us when we are rejecting them. Sometimes we have to let people go as they don't add positive to our lives.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks Blue and hasty. He apologized and wished me the best.
confessionsofaqueen
confessionsofaqueen
I avoid confrontations and if avoidance is what needs to happen to keep my peace, there is no discussion. It is what it is. Although I admit I like those acquaintances and friends that truly care for me and won’t give up on me. Those are the ones you want to keep.
confessionsofaqueen
confessionsofaqueen
I avoid confrontations, and if avoidance is what needs to happen to keep my peace, there is no discussion. It is what it is. Although I admit I like those acquaintances and friends that truly care for me and won’t give up on me. Those are the ones you want to keep.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks confessions! I tried to ease my way out of the friendship.
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