Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I'm 21, I'm in college, and I can't help but feel a huge hate for people in general. I have a couple of what most people would call "friends" but talking to them and hanging out with them is torture for me. I go out with them sometimes but I honestly don't enjoy it at all. All I wish for when I'm with them is to drop dead. As of right now, I haven't talked to them in a month and I've been making up excuses to not see them just because of how torturous it is for me to talk to them and hang out with them. I know most people probably come home smiling and laughing after having a nice lunch with their friends. Not me. I come home screaming and crying my eyes out because of how painful it is to be with them. I always get extremely depressed when I'm with people, sometimes I even think about suicide. I hate people and society so much that now I don't even know if I want to pursue my dream career any longer. Ever since I was in first grade I've dreamt of becoming a teacher, but now I think of the parents and children I will have to see and talk to everyday and it makes me want to puke. The pay is not even good. I am actually the happiest when I'm by myself or when I'm with my parents. I know us humans were born to be social, but I simply don't feel this way. My parents have told me multiple times that this is not a normal behavior. That we were all born to socialize with each other. I know it is impossible for me to live in isolation which is why I want to like people and not feel like passing out when I'm with them but I really don't know how to do this. I do suffer from social anxiety but I've never felt this way about people before. I don't want to become antisocial. Any advice as to what I can do?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
I have faced similar feelings in my own recovery from child sex trafficking. I dislike people, as a species, so much that I don't even want my place in the species. Can I be a grizzly bear now? They don't need others of their own kind to live long, healthy lives. I see Janes and Johns everywhere I go, and. . . You want me to *CHOOSE* to be around those horrible creatures?
Sigh. . . It remains a hard-wired fact that I am human, myself, despite my deprived view of the human species. I can't love or trust myself until I can forgive the species, in general. No small feat for a child sex trafficking survivor.
I guess I am just rambling here. . . I mostly wanted to welcome you aboard and let you know that you are not alone.
Unfortunately, I have lost a few friends over the years due to my anti-social behavior. Overall, I’m quite friendly and a nice person. But it’s become more and more difficult for me to sustain any kind of friendship, hence the “loss of friends” part of it.
Keeping up with friends and trying to stay social with them feels like torture. Feels like I’m knee deep in water and trying to get across the River. The people I lost said things to me like, “you don’t seem to care about our friendship. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.” While I’ve come across as insensitive and uncaring to them, that’s not the case at all. They don’t understand the anxiety and chaos I would feel inside. Nobody knows, even to this day. My advice to you is.....be honest with people and yourself. Nothing wrong with being on your own. I would just want people to understand what goes on inside my mind/emotions — at least then they would know I’m not a bad person....I’m just a little complicated. Xxxxxooo
There is a group on DS named "Schizoid Paradox" you might want to look into.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/schizoid-paradox