Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Our daughter started college this semester and I am so afraid to answer the phone when she calls!! I am NOT a phone person!! She is 2 hours aways from home. She will Facetime me and just want me to sit there on the phone while she studies and does her work around her dorm. It drives me CRAZY!! Have I mentioned that I HATE to talk on the phone??? UUGGHH!!! I started all this to say, I am over stressed by allllll the Money that is having to be spent! WOW!! I knew college was going to be expensive but I never knew. I just thought I had a clue, but nope!! It seems like every time the phone rings she needs money for something. I know it is not her fault. I would never say anything to her. But, really, the college even made us order and pay for her scantron slips for her testing!! REALLY?! Come on!! One of her professors told her that 2 of these books that she needed she could get from another professor for $25 a piece. She went to purchase them and the professor told her that he olny had labcoats and goggles for sale she had to get the books from the books store. She went to the bookstrore to get the books and they turned out to be $100 dollars MORE than we put in her account to purchase them! What the What?!?! Her and my husband spent 2 and a half hours on the phone together the night before last ordering books and supplies that she needed, then she called last night, she needed two more books for English. I am so Over it! And this is only the Beginning!! Trust me I know!! To top that off she is talking about going on a trip with the school over spring break that is going to cost us about $600. Lets get school paid for first!! Am I right?
I feel like I am being selfish because I wanted this time for my husband and I. We are suppose to go on a motorcycle trip in a couple of weeks and we are going to be gone for a week and a half. But I am so worried about the money. Are we going to have to watch every dime we spend? I don't think so and my husband keeps telling me to stop worring about the money but I just can't stop. Someone please tell me that all this college stuff gets better. HELP!! It has not helped that I have been spending a lot of money on dental work, but I do not feel like that is a luxury, that is a necessity. Either way I feel bad about the money being spent. I guess because it is on me. I would not mind if it was on my husband. He works his tail off at work for us to have nice things, he works hard and hde has built in overtime, so I feel like he deserves to spend money on hisself. He never does, except for the motorcyce. We were in South Dakota and he did spend money on Harley tshirts and a couple of hats. I was so happy for him. He was like a kid in a candy store. Lol...
I just know things are going to have to stop spinning so fast... I feel like I am out of control. When I get like this I can only do one thing to get the feeling of control back...
See I am a cutter, I cut to calm myself and to gain control of myself and things to calm down. I haven't done it in a few years, but I overdosed the year before last, about 2 hours after taking the meds. I told a nurse and my husband and was taken to the hospital by ambulance and almost died, then last November I almost died just from having bariatric surgery. I have put my body through so much. I am to the point of cutting, to make the world slow down, to make something make sense. HELP!!
Someone please tell me all the college expense is something everyone deals with, that has children that go to college. That it does get better. Our daughter is studying medicine so to be a doctor she is looking at 12 years of school. So lots and lots of expense!
I hope I have someone out there with just a little bit of a shoulder that I can cry on. I apologize now for being such a mess, for carying on, for my troubles being so mi-nute!
May God Bless You All
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
You are not crying here for me. I sent both girls to a very great college and very prestige. It just about broke us. But is was well worth it.
The transition into college might have been harder for me than it was for my sons. I never did manage to find all that freedom I fantasized about during those long, hard parenting years, not even now that those sons are middle aged. Sigh. . . Is there a magical realm where dreams really do come true?
It can, indeed, whelm a body and soul. Steadying support while you work ^it^ through, play by play. Vent freely. Vent often. It helps in the sorting of which battles are big enough to matter and small enough to win.
P.S.
If your taking votes, I hope you take that vacation. I'm with your hubs on the opine that worrying the money angle too hard gets you nowhere. With conscientious care, these things have a way of working out. A refreshed attitude can move mountains and you sound like you have earned that vacation, plus some.
School bookstores are the worst- and to be avoided at all costs (forgive the pun please)
I found a few good ways to get books for less: 1) Classmate who took the class last semester who could really use a little money, doesn't need the book anymore. 2) Abebooks.com which does cost comparison across many different websites. And 3) e-books from Amazon (actually my favorite)
I had a work study as an undergrad to keep my tuition a bit lower.
I wish I could say the costs improve with time but, in my own experience? Thet really don't.
No judgement here! It's a really stressful time for many when it comes to money and I remember clearly all the unexpected costs that just kept hitting as I pursued my degrees.
Take the ride. Do fun things. Becoming an "empty nester" does not mean that you are not involved, it just changes how the involvement moves forward.
College is expensive, leaving home is a learning curve for everyone.
The clue with the books is to find what is actually used like hypergal says.
Anxiety is natural. It is a part of us. How we manage our anxiety is individual. I would suggest writing about that in a private journal.
Best wishes as you find your better balance.
I don't have much advice that I think would be helpful. But something I do when life starts to feel out of control is just take everything one day at a time. If it's incredibly bad then just one hour at a time. If I can get through the day that's all that matters.
I'm sure the expenses will go down as time goes by. Once she buys all the main necessities for her classes she shouldn't need to buy much more. College is sadly very expensive like they really make you pay a crap ton of money for everything. But luckily there are cheaper options out there like some people above have mentioned.
And I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip! You deserve to have an awesome one and enjoy your free time with your husband.
Regarding the phone calls, I am 29 and though I live with my mom, she calls me on her first break second break and on the way home from work. I hate being away from her for 8 hours. Try to be understanding that your daughter is in a strange place and she just wants to stay in touch. Maybe set a time when she can call so you are expecting her to call and set a time limit like 20-30 minutes. I think your doing great!