Hi all. I'm not sure where to post my feelings as I don't know where I fit in. I often feel like others see me as a horrible person. Emotionally unstable, a bitch, a perfectionist, someone who "likes to be in control". I constantly worry about how other people see me, and therefore do not know how to act or worry that I reacted incorrectly. I ruminate about my actions and chastise myself when I think I've acted poorly. Even if I think I acted correctly, I worry that others think poorly of me anyways, like "she's too cocky" or "she thinks she is so smart". I wish I could stop worrying about other peoples opinions, I know deep down that they don't matter... but I also think that I'm right about what I think other people are thinking and this is why I don't have any close friends and why I haven't been in a relationship for 10years. I feel lonely and I feel like its my fault, but then I also think that I'm being too mean to myself. My brain is constantly at war with itself and my self-image is barely perceptible.