Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Today is Saturday. Sometime next week ( could be as late as Friday ) we are closing on our little farm that we sold. We haven't met the buyers yet and after the closing will probably never see them again.
I already feel the anxiety. I know what will happen. I'm going to obsess over this all week. I'll have a couple panic attacks and many GERD attacks. Everything I own will hurt. I won't be able to control my racing thoughts. I'll worry about the drive over to the next county. I'll worry about how I will feel by that day. I'll have myself so worked up that I'll be popping Xanax for a few days.
I have MS, Fibromyalgia, IBS, Gastritis and a few other health issues which ALL carry anxiety and pain and every one of them will kick up until this is over. Then something else will start the whole process over again.
I have terrible social anxiety. Even with my own kids. I love them, but they make me nervous. So imagine what this event will do to me! When I am in my own home, talking with someone ... even someone I love and see all the time... I start to feel fidgety and exhausted and my eyes hurt. I lose concentration and can't follow the conversation.
So I just want this to be over and I'd like to hide out in my home, away from everyone for a very long time.
So..... how do you control your anxiety???
I already feel the anxiety. I know what will happen. I'm going to obsess over this all week. I'll have a couple panic attacks and many GERD attacks. Everything I own will hurt. I won't be able to control my racing thoughts. I'll worry about the drive over to the next county. I'll worry about how I will feel by that day. I'll have myself so worked up that I'll be popping Xanax for a few days.
I have MS, Fibromyalgia, IBS, Gastritis and a few other health issues which ALL carry anxiety and pain and every one of them will kick up until this is over. Then something else will start the whole process over again.
I have terrible social anxiety. Even with my own kids. I love them, but they make me nervous. So imagine what this event will do to me! When I am in my own home, talking with someone ... even someone I love and see all the time... I start to feel fidgety and exhausted and my eyes hurt. I lose concentration and can't follow the conversation.
So I just want this to be over and I'd like to hide out in my home, away from everyone for a very long time.
So..... how do you control your anxiety???
(hides under table!)
I think you need to create a new and more positive visualisation to visualise. I think you need to reprogramme your brain with positive possibilities.
Look to the good.
There's a study recently out saying that whenever we think a thought, we strengthen that neural pathway in our brain, and this allows us to think that thought more and more easily going forward.
It's like roads: the road most travelled ends up the largest road.
So if you don't want to travel that road, you have to choose a better one and use that. Try to visualise things going WELL. It will take a lot of work because your neural path/motorways are now six lane highways, and the positive thought roads are now tiny goat tracks - but make yourself do it.
And go tell your kids how you feel. Get a solid grounding and relationship with them. Take them out to a movie. Do fun things with them. If you can build that back into a solid relationship I think that will help enormously. :) I am a bit nervous around my son lately, so I do know what it's like. I try to take him out to dinner, or lunch, or have a good time somehow.
I have a very good relationship with my kids. They understand that the MS is hard to deal with and they are a great help. I just can't help feeling stressed in social situations.
I also have a sick husband to deal with. He needs more help right now than I do. But it is so hard for me to help him with my limitations. And of course, I worry about him all the time.
Thanks for the suggestions.
You are right when you say easier said than done. However bridgie101 is also right, it takes time to retrain your brain to think and deal with thoughts differently. You should look into CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and DBT Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. They are 2 popular means of dealing with stress and anxiety working with a therapist without the use of medication.
I'm not sure exactly what you are anxious about regarding the closing...but I'm going to guess it's the actually closing meeting...
And there are lots of things you can do for that. You can look at the map and talk yourself through the route from your house to the lawyers office. You can pack a bag with essentials (check book, pens, water, snacks, sweater, any meds you might need). You can practice a few small talk lines (Hello; Nice to meet you; I'm so glad our property is going to good owners; I wish you luck in the future; great to meet you; have a nice rest of the day).
If you haven't done it before, closings are just a few people in a room at a lawyers office, signing papers in general silence (not much conversation). The lawyer explains what each piece is and you nod your head like you know what he's talking about, then you sign it. If you can sign your name, you've got it. It's pretty low key.
In the meantime, just be gentle with yourself. Eat good food, get good sleep, watch funny movies, whatever it is that keeps you relaxed and smiling.
Good luck and hugs.
My anxiety comes from a long list of illnesses, mine and my husband's. My mind doesn't have a chance to rest or catch up with so many things happening on a daily basis.
I've been through closings before. First I worry about the drive over. We live kind of far from everything. Then I worry about how I will feel physically at the time. Will I have a stomach ache? Will I get palpitations? Will I get dizzy? On and on.
I've talked with many nurses including a friend who specialized in psychiatry. She is my age and also has MS. So she really understands. No magic cure for this.
I would make an excellent hermit. I love to stay home and stay quiet. Watch funny tv and movies and read books that I like over and over. I think my husband feels a little left out because I am not interested in his books or his movies. I know I shut him out a little. He's at the stage of repeating all his old stories a million times. I just turn it off. So, after 43 years we don't have a lot to talk about. It's ok with me. We are just trying to take care of each other, but truthfully, I am doing most of the caregiving.
Well, thanks all. Sorry to go on.