Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
The date is December 10th 2015 and I am frustrated, anxious and depressed. I am a lesbian and I have genital warts (which is caused by HPV - the Human Papilloma Virus).
I am 22 and a lesbian. Earlier this year, I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend of 2 years. I was very heartbroken and sought comfort by having protected sex, once, with a guy on my course. He didn't display symptoms of HPV, but I ended up getting genital warts which is unfortunate as, from what I've read (which is A LOT), the majority of people who come into contact with the virus don't go on to develop warts. I know that it was him who I was infected by based on the location of my warts (based on the kind of lesbian sex I'd been having, they'd appear in a different location if I were to have been infected by my ex, or any woman I'd slept with previously) and the fact that they appeared exactly 3 months after the sexual encounter (a lot of websites say that symptoms typically, if they're going to, appear 3 months after infection).
As a lesbian, this is distressing for a number of reasons. Firstly, I completely regret the sexual encounter as I am not even into men and what are the odds of contracting an STI on the ONE occasion that I happen to sleep with a man? Very annoying, unlikely and unfortunate. Secondly, this isn't really a 'lesbian' problem. The only advice and guidance I seem to find online is geared towards heterosexual people, e.g 'To minimise the chances of spreading the infection to your partner, make sure you wear a condom'. This doesn't really apply to me. There isn't really an option of having 'protected' lesbian sex, the way you can have 'protected' heterosexual sex. With lesbians, you're either having unprotected sex or not having sex at all. And I've recently gotten into a relationship, which this is MASSIVELY affecting. My girlfriend and I used to scissor (have vaginal-to-vaginal contact) and she'd perform oral sex on me. Neither of those things are possible now so we're pretty much abstinent.
My biggest problem/concern is that why on earth is this virus, and its symptoms, so difficult to treat? I am literally having ZERO success with ANY treatment. When I went for my first round of cryosurgery/cryotherapy, I merely had a few warts. 2 months down the line and I have a cluster of what looks like about 40+ - those 'cauliflower' kind of warts. I've since had 3 more sessions of cryosurgery/cryotherapy and the situation continues to worsen - not get better. As a sufferer of anxiety, I am very vigilant and thorough when it comes to the issue of health. I have taken about as much action as I probably possibly can. I'm taking immune-system-boosting supplements daily (about 7 different kinds), I've been drinking a shit load of green tea (which contains ECGC - the main component in green tea, which is supposed to target HPV), I've changed to a vegan diet, I've abstained from sex, I've stopped shaving the area to avoiding spreading it (which I think was the mistake I made during the first month - I was still shaving; no health professional expressed quite how contagious the warts are), I wash my clothes (as well as towels and bedsheets) on a high temperate, I wash my hands if I have touched anywhere near to the area, I dab rather than wipe the area [with tissue] when I've been to the toilet (to avoid spreading the virus), I have sea salt/tea tree oil baths to "dry out" the warts, I use castor oil (which has anti-inflammatory properties) during the day and tea tree oil (which has antiviral AND anti-inflammatory properties) during the night on the area - NOTHING SEEMS TO REALLY WORK MUCH! Never in my life have I had such little success with any kind of treatment.
My anxiety levels are sky high and I am highly stressed and depressed. I understand that this is probably the main factor in stunting the clearance of the virus and limiting the success of the treatment I've tried. It's strange, because usually I have an EXCELLENT immune system - I never catch anybody's illnesses - so I'm a little confused as to why my immune system has failed me on this particular occasion.
I am disgusted with myself and full of regret. I am constantly inspecting the area in the mirror, in the hopes that I'll see an improvement. I recently started university but I'm struggling to apply myself academically, as THIS is occupying my every thought. I can't seem to think about, or concentrate on, anything else. I spend the majority of my time on my phone or on my laptop googling the condition and its treatments. I've come across MANY a horror story of people who have had their warts for YEARS, and I can't help but feel like that will be me. There's also a LOT of conflicting information online about the nature of HPV. Some websites/health professionals say that a healthy immune system usually clears the infection in a maximum of 2 years, whilst others insist that the virus lives in the body permanently. That's not really what I'm trying to hear!!! HPV seems to be a very misunderstood and poorly-researched virus, which is utterly frustrating.
It's also making me extremely anxious in my relationship, anticipating that my girlfriend will soon be leaving me because of it. Whenever she takes slightly longer to reply to a message than usual, I'll assume she's gone off me. I feel like just breaking up with her to endure the suffering sooner rather than later, but I have really strong feelings for her. I feel like, being a lesbian, I will never find a partner or settle down with anyone if this problem persists. Like I started perviously, this isn't really a lesbian problem so I don't feel that any lesbian woman would be particularly understanding or tolerant of this issue. I feel as though heterosexual people are more able to deal with these things - better equipped? I'm not disregarding the fact that heterosexual people also go through significant distress with this. Having a taboo illness like this, it's hard not to worry about the social implications of the illness, e.g "Will this illness affect my ability to keep a partner or/and settle down with someone?"
What I need is urgent HELP! What could I be doing differently? Should I panic as much as I am? What treatments have worked for people? I ask for people's thoughts, please! It would be very, VERY appreciated!
I hope that one day I can look back at this stressful situation as a mere memory, but right now that seems so, so far away.
Thank you.
I am 22 and a lesbian. Earlier this year, I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend of 2 years. I was very heartbroken and sought comfort by having protected sex, once, with a guy on my course. He didn't display symptoms of HPV, but I ended up getting genital warts which is unfortunate as, from what I've read (which is A LOT), the majority of people who come into contact with the virus don't go on to develop warts. I know that it was him who I was infected by based on the location of my warts (based on the kind of lesbian sex I'd been having, they'd appear in a different location if I were to have been infected by my ex, or any woman I'd slept with previously) and the fact that they appeared exactly 3 months after the sexual encounter (a lot of websites say that symptoms typically, if they're going to, appear 3 months after infection).
As a lesbian, this is distressing for a number of reasons. Firstly, I completely regret the sexual encounter as I am not even into men and what are the odds of contracting an STI on the ONE occasion that I happen to sleep with a man? Very annoying, unlikely and unfortunate. Secondly, this isn't really a 'lesbian' problem. The only advice and guidance I seem to find online is geared towards heterosexual people, e.g 'To minimise the chances of spreading the infection to your partner, make sure you wear a condom'. This doesn't really apply to me. There isn't really an option of having 'protected' lesbian sex, the way you can have 'protected' heterosexual sex. With lesbians, you're either having unprotected sex or not having sex at all. And I've recently gotten into a relationship, which this is MASSIVELY affecting. My girlfriend and I used to scissor (have vaginal-to-vaginal contact) and she'd perform oral sex on me. Neither of those things are possible now so we're pretty much abstinent.
My biggest problem/concern is that why on earth is this virus, and its symptoms, so difficult to treat? I am literally having ZERO success with ANY treatment. When I went for my first round of cryosurgery/cryotherapy, I merely had a few warts. 2 months down the line and I have a cluster of what looks like about 40+ - those 'cauliflower' kind of warts. I've since had 3 more sessions of cryosurgery/cryotherapy and the situation continues to worsen - not get better. As a sufferer of anxiety, I am very vigilant and thorough when it comes to the issue of health. I have taken about as much action as I probably possibly can. I'm taking immune-system-boosting supplements daily (about 7 different kinds), I've been drinking a shit load of green tea (which contains ECGC - the main component in green tea, which is supposed to target HPV), I've changed to a vegan diet, I've abstained from sex, I've stopped shaving the area to avoiding spreading it (which I think was the mistake I made during the first month - I was still shaving; no health professional expressed quite how contagious the warts are), I wash my clothes (as well as towels and bedsheets) on a high temperate, I wash my hands if I have touched anywhere near to the area, I dab rather than wipe the area [with tissue] when I've been to the toilet (to avoid spreading the virus), I have sea salt/tea tree oil baths to "dry out" the warts, I use castor oil (which has anti-inflammatory properties) during the day and tea tree oil (which has antiviral AND anti-inflammatory properties) during the night on the area - NOTHING SEEMS TO REALLY WORK MUCH! Never in my life have I had such little success with any kind of treatment.
My anxiety levels are sky high and I am highly stressed and depressed. I understand that this is probably the main factor in stunting the clearance of the virus and limiting the success of the treatment I've tried. It's strange, because usually I have an EXCELLENT immune system - I never catch anybody's illnesses - so I'm a little confused as to why my immune system has failed me on this particular occasion.
I am disgusted with myself and full of regret. I am constantly inspecting the area in the mirror, in the hopes that I'll see an improvement. I recently started university but I'm struggling to apply myself academically, as THIS is occupying my every thought. I can't seem to think about, or concentrate on, anything else. I spend the majority of my time on my phone or on my laptop googling the condition and its treatments. I've come across MANY a horror story of people who have had their warts for YEARS, and I can't help but feel like that will be me. There's also a LOT of conflicting information online about the nature of HPV. Some websites/health professionals say that a healthy immune system usually clears the infection in a maximum of 2 years, whilst others insist that the virus lives in the body permanently. That's not really what I'm trying to hear!!! HPV seems to be a very misunderstood and poorly-researched virus, which is utterly frustrating.
It's also making me extremely anxious in my relationship, anticipating that my girlfriend will soon be leaving me because of it. Whenever she takes slightly longer to reply to a message than usual, I'll assume she's gone off me. I feel like just breaking up with her to endure the suffering sooner rather than later, but I have really strong feelings for her. I feel like, being a lesbian, I will never find a partner or settle down with anyone if this problem persists. Like I started perviously, this isn't really a lesbian problem so I don't feel that any lesbian woman would be particularly understanding or tolerant of this issue. I feel as though heterosexual people are more able to deal with these things - better equipped? I'm not disregarding the fact that heterosexual people also go through significant distress with this. Having a taboo illness like this, it's hard not to worry about the social implications of the illness, e.g "Will this illness affect my ability to keep a partner or/and settle down with someone?"
What I need is urgent HELP! What could I be doing differently? Should I panic as much as I am? What treatments have worked for people? I ask for people's thoughts, please! It would be very, VERY appreciated!
I hope that one day I can look back at this stressful situation as a mere memory, but right now that seems so, so far away.
Thank you.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
Take lots of B vitamins and water and such, get lots of sleep. Do the things that help your anxiety.
I think despite the fact that you look grisly at the moment, and certain parts of your anatomy are closed for maintenance, there's no reason you can't keep your girlfriend happy. If this relationship is real she will wait. Sex is not actually everything. I would ask though: does she already have the virus? Has she been vaccinated against it?
Most heterosexual people will get warts, to my understanding, and most will never know they got them because they'll get one wart. I think I got one wart. I only even found out about it because the ex boyfriend at the time phoned me and told me to get checked.
i don't think they will spread around your body from touching. I think they are systemic in your body, like normal warts, and come up from inside you wherever and however they're going to, and that's it. I don't think you are going to get any more of them no matter what you do; I think they will sit there for ages and then one day they will just go. It's a shame they're on the outside of your girly bits but at least you will be able to see when they have left.
You're going to have to think happy thoughts, like winnie the pooh. If the girlfriend is meant to be she will stay, and you need have no fear of that. If she goes she was never meant to be. Warts are not a reason to break up with someone. Herpes maybe. Warts no. They're a minor annoyance and they pretty much do nothing to you, although you'll need to have more regular pap smears from now on to guard against cervical cancer.
Take care. I'm really sorry you've had such a shot of bad luck.
First, write out everything. You've written out some of it, so finish writing out separately. Your thought process will have to heal in order to help your body heal.
The thing about warts is that they are natural, and one natural remedy that works is apple cider vinegar. It takes a little while, but the warts do fall off. Valtrex can stop the the outbreak from going worse.
One of the things about sex, is if you remove the emotion from it, it is just a physical act, and some of the suggestions made here can give you physical relief.
Just understand your feelings about the herpes is the biggest hurdle you face in getting past the fear of the herpes outbreak.
Best wishes.
One of the reasons it is so hard to treat is because of how sex is approached (it is not approached as easily as sneezing, coughing, or farting in public). Please know you are not alone.