Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi all! I am struggling with something, I guess recently I've been dealing with some stress in my personal life and it has just made me realize that this is actually a real problem.
So what happens is that when I find myself wanting to say something to someone that is important and about my feelings, I generally am too anxious about their reaction to say it out loud. So then I end up texting. I write these insanely loooong complicated texts, as I am just afraid that something I am saying may be misconstrued or misunderstood. My friend calls it "emotional dumping".
The problem is that both sending and not sending these letters (for that is how long they are) cause me great anxiety. I am so anxious about what someone will think about me saying what I want to say, that I end up losing focus and over explaining. But if I don't, I feel equally anxious because I don't know what they are thinking.
This has been getting me into a lot of trouble, with messages being misconstrued or me taking so long to write a message, that by the time I send it, it is no longer relevant and just ends up bringing bad feelings back to the surface.
I guess my question to anyone who has maybe experienced something similar is, how do I deal with my anxiety about communicating clearly? And about what people may think? I am over communicating now in writing to a point where it defies the point I am trying to make. It is a vicious circle. Because I feel I need to explain everything, and then explain the explanation.
Does anyone have advice on how to change this thought process? How to address this anxiety in a healthy way? That does not end up alienating the people I care about?
Thanks for listening!
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
-
Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
There may be parts you could delete or erase, before Sending it.
Again, not sure what topics you are referring to?? So this is just some general advice for self-editing ourselves.
in my own therapy, we call this, "hypergraphia" and/or "hyperexpression." the emotions/thoughts i repress while my anxiety won't let me speak up come tumbling out in chaotic urgency when i finally start expressing myself, be it written or verbal., why use one word where a thousand will do? i lose allot of important points in the excessive quantity this way.
writing rough drafts and/or journaling is my most useful tool in managing this symptom. allowing myself free expression in the privacy of the rough drafts and/or journal entries allows me to vent the verbal vomit. sculpting that verbal vomit into clear and concise verbage helps me sort and reframe the essential chunks free of the verbal vomit.
but that is me and every case is unique. . .
gentle support while you find what works for you, steph. i hope you'll feel safe to do that sorting and venting here. welcome aboard.
I have also learned as I’ve gotten older that I don’t necessarily need to express myself feelings or explain myself to others nor do I need others to always understand me. It just depends on the situation. Private journaling helps me process and express myself without having to worry about being long winded, explaining myself etc.
This bears repeating and reminding as you learn how to accept your feelings as natural and normal and that sometimes, you're going to have to be clear, concise, and stick to the basics of evidence alone in responding.
I have taken the time to write out my feelings in full surround, and gone back to edit and revise to minimize the text I send out so it fits the conversation.
I stop, pause, breathe, choice, repeat until clear headed and calm.
In doing this, I have saved myself many moments of anxiety related to information shared that was not part of the original conversation.
Private journaling is better for releasing your entire set of feelings so you can review the patterns that seem to show up.
There is no need to explain your expressions. Keep them in simple sayings. The less you say, the more people have to pay attention and listen.
Here's to finding your better balance!
It’s nice to sometimes just be able to tell someone and get outside perspective. So thanks to everyone for their opinions, There are definitely some things I’m taking on board. Breathing is step 1! :) Thanks again!