Hello..

I have severe anxiety caused by my PTSD so I have a vague idea of what you are talking about.
I first want to say, I'm sorry no one has replied to you yet. I'm sure someone else will but it's summer, and weekends have a lot of people out doing things vs. being online.

Do I understand you correctly, that recently a friend or someone you knew recently passed away and the people around him/her
say they didn't have a clue anything was wrong?
If the person that passed was a friend of yours, that would be enough to trigger major anxiety. I also find it easier to put my thoughts down in writing than speaking them to anyone. My own has gotten so bad, I've isolated my self completely from the outside world except for dr. appts. and getting groceries.

You said you didn't have anyone to talk to. Does that mean you don't have a therapist or counselor of any kind that you could get in touch with? If you do have one or the other, can you give him/her
a call? Are you on any medications for anxiety/depression? If so, can you call your dr. and let him/her know you are in crisis mode?

I'm glad you have the strength to not go down that self destruct path, that's a very positive thing in the midst of your anxiety.

If you don't have a therp./counselor, can you take yourself or get someone to take you to your local ER or mental health hospital to help keep yourself safe and get some much needed help so you can work through this?
I'll be the first one to say going to the ER isn't an option to look forward to but perhaps, if you are this close to the edge, it is where you need to go.
Have you called any of the suicide hotlines? Sometimes just talking to an anonymous person will help ground you.
Here are two crisis lines you can call:

1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-8255,
As I'd said, if you haven't called one yet, perhaps you would want to so you can get grounded at least a little bit. BTW, those are both USA numbers but I think if you go to the bottom of this page, click on "crisis hotlines" you might find #'s for other countries.

If you feel safe enough here, perhaps post a bit more about what you need from others here? You don't have to go through this alone.

I know from your profile you've have been through some horrid trauma and feel sure this horrid anxiety is at least partly from that.

Please post again, there will be other replies, probably with better advice than I can offer you.

Wishing you at least a bit of peace today...

((((((((very gentle hugs))))))))))
mc

The decision whether to tell people is up to you. In my experience, some will understand, others won't, and some will seek to understand but just won't get it.

I have many friends here on DS and out in the physical world who have pulled in, their worlds getting smaller and smaller while they become more and more isolated. It is difficult to do the opposite but it can be worth it.

I have been fortunate to find people who understand. And those who didn't were no good for me anyway.

All I can tell you is that when I've told people about my anxiety the overall response is "Oh my gosh. I've heard that's really brutal. Are you going to be okay? How can I help?" And then we go on like I told them I had a burger for lunch.

Every single person on the planet knows anxiety. Everyone has experienced anxiety. So they're familiar. We are not as alone as we believe ourselves to be.

There is a personality test where they ask about "crazy" things - thoughts that are so dark and scary - and they ask if you've ever had such thoughts. If you answer "no" they know you're lying. EVERYONE has those thoughts from time to time but if you have anxiety they practically traumatize you. Other people just think, "That was weird" and that's it.

For those of us with anxiety, the way our physical body works and the way it releases chemicals causes us to get really hung up on the thoughts and feelings - and feel like we're "weird." And thus isolate.

We think our anxiety sets us apart and stops us from living life. And, if you're like a lot of people with anxiety you feel your anxiety is BLATENTLY obvious to others. Well, here's what a typical anxiety attack looks like: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/panic-attack-live-television-22856018

I get that not everyone will be compassionate and understanding and we have to be careful but the biggest revelation - and one of the most freeing - was when my psychiatrist told me to take a risk and tell people about the anxiety. And my life started opening up. I could tell people that yes, we can make plans but I may not be able to go. They said that was fine and asked how they could help if I had an attack while we were together.

Much like anyone with epilepsy, heart disease, diabetes or even allergies needs to tell a friend what to do if they have an episode.

Anxiety seems SO huge, SOOOO overwhelming but there is SO much help out there. It's a marathon sometimes to find the solutions but they're out there. And friends can be fantastic!

You can have more of a life than you do right now.

everyone has anxiety in some sort... don't ever think that you are alone in this battle for I am positive that a person has multiple symptoms or events that you also correlate with. When I started with anxiety I felt as if I was alone and that if I told a single soul that I would lose that person instantly or they would check me into a medical ward as my anxiety is losing control of my actions (scary thoughts) Its the last thing in the world I would do for I am a very active part of my community, have many friends, active in sports, have a job, etc. Know one in the world would expect me to have anxiety. The thing that I learned though is that you can tell people... I told my friends, my family, (my therapist when I was going) and the response was quick and amazing... I've had the same thoughts... the only thing that is different is that people with anxiety hold onto these thoughts and the more we fear that the outcome will happen the worst it will get... I'm sure this all sounds familiar and such, but listen you are never alone and i mean this with all my heart.

I would never ever take back me having anxiety for multiple reasons... This most important the people I have met and my rebirth with my faith. I don't know you religious background, but Jay after my experiences I had to turn somewhere... Medical knowledge goes so far, but spirit and energy triumph this in my opinion and I say this as a Kinesiology major. There is something that is so comforting with religion and for you I would hope that you try to reconnect for the thing I learned is God is always with you, he never leaves and he will always love you know matter what.

As for advice with things you can do I would say when you feel anxiety coming on especially a panic attack deep breathe this triggers your parasympathetic (rest and digest) system which in turns slows down your heart rate, blood flow, and gives you calming feeling.

Write your negative thoughts that you have in a journal and then with every negative thought write down a positive to counter that negative thoughts. This actually rewires your brain that had collected the neurons that had made these negative thoughts to challenge these with new positive thoughts, but this process takes time, but it is one of the most effective.

ex) My anxiety is so bad I can't stand it
I have the tools to coupe with my anxiety and I believe with these tools I can conquer this...

Think about the most calming place in your mind mind is the beach as I am from Rhode Island so my go to place when i am stressed or have a high level of anxiety is the beach to think and relax.

Pet an animal that you have they have done a study that this petting of an animal actually relieves stress lol

Stay busy with your day don't stay in and feel as if your world around is crumbling, for every day there is an opportunity to take for your own.... This also keeps your mind off things.

Get involved with faith for if you don't believe that you an conquer this you won't, but if you feel as if you have the knowledge and such you will.

Read inspirational quotes to get you up and cheerful

Lastly if you have set backs keep going! If you have a set back it just means that you have had made progress

Now all of these tools does it mean that anxiety is going to go away in a day. HELL NO lol. As I stated anxiety runs in all human beings it just matters the intensity. It takes time to conquer this and you have to have the patience. You will be find Jay I mean this I will send my prayers your way.

God bless Best of Luck. Jared

My post was a little vague. All of my friends come from troubled families, many of them may have mental instabilities in my opinion, but they do think mental illness something that 'crazy schizos' have.
Perhaps denial, either way it's difficult.
They are all substance abusers which makes things even more difficult. Hearts of gold, but fry themselves to stay away from people that make them think. I don't know why they like me so much, probably because I'm never personal towards them.
None of my friends are 6 feet under, I was talking in hypothetical a future tense about myself.

Tell people only when you're ready. Maybe choose one person out of your group of friends and invite them for a coffee to start. Sit down somewhere that you're comfortable and maybe just say I really need someone to talk to right now. Tell them that there's been a lot on your mind and start off slow.