Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hey! I'm new here and figured I'd throw this out there and see if anyone can hopefully relate or share any insights.
Ive heard a bit about high functioning mental illnesses, especially anxiety. I have always been very strong willed despite any circumstance, I have a high pain tolerance and I believe it transfers over to mental health (for myself at least). I feel like a walking, talking, breathing oxy-moron. Those who know me would describe me as outgoing, occasionally outspoken, and even fearless. HAH. My state is weirdly situational. Anxiety has effected me my entire life, talking in class, even raising my hand, I get shaky in uncomfortable situations, I stay up so late thinking about everything, and then sleep the whole morning every second I can trying to escape back to dreamland. I could go on and on but I'm sure most reading this understand all that comes with it.
On the contrary, I'm frighteningly excellent at hiding unfavorable emotions. I could having a breakdown in the bathroom one moment and be able to walk out with a big smile and hold a conversation and even comfort others all by the super power of compartmentalizing.
My anxiety comes and goes and it's so difficult for many of my friends to understand. I can be thrust into a new situation and if the first moment goes well I can remain charming, charismatic and funny the whole time. I can say anything to anyone, and say it in an acceptable way no matter the subject. I can fearlessly debate, and adventure.
Yet on a different day the moment may go wrong, I am quiet, stuck in my mind, afraid to say the wrong thing, my charisma runs away to apart of me I can't reach. I get nervous, anxious, all I want to do is run away and half the time I do. I'm that weird girl at a party who will vanish out the door barefoot to go for a walk and be one with the stars because anything is better than that room, I have done that so many times, sometimes I'm lucky enough to recruit a friend on the the way.
Ive ruined relationships because at first I am so entertaining, but when I start to get integrated and meet friends and family I get weird and awkward and put so much pressure on myself for these people to like me when I know that's not even the point. I then lose myself in that and then get anxiety in the relationship and things start to fizzle.
The worst part, and this is the kicker and I deeply apologize if I offend anyone for this part. I don't even believe in mental illness, not in the way it's portrayed anyway. Basically I think these things are not sicknesses but symptoms of a deeper issue, and by allowing the greater majority to call themselves permanently broken we form a belief system that we cannot get better, so the cycles continue. So although I relate highly to issues involved with anxiety (amongst other things) I don't know what to do about it but I know something must be done because it's not something I can simply accept.
I don't want the crisply effects anymore, I know who I am inside and I don't know how to get over these anxious times when I know the things to say and how to say them but the words refuse to leave my mouth without that shake and unassured tone and posture.
This was much longer than I intended it to be. But I would love any feedback, comments, or advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
We're raised with mumbo jumbo. A man in the clouds watching our every move is seen as real; the fact that you're not even one thing, but actually a giant community walking around, co-operating for the sake of genetic reproduction, isn't. All you are actually here to do is survive until you reproduce. Your brain mostly gets in the way of that. Your brain is another misfiring cobbled together bodge complete with duct tape and no. 8 wire.
For a start you have 3 of them.
Anxiety itself? Meh. Partly it's your adrenal system packing a sad. Partly it's your brain packing a sad. We're designed to go into fight or flight when there are bears. There are no longer any bears. So we have no sense of perspective. I see anxiety disorder as being very like an autoimmune disorder where your body attacks itself because it hasn't anything better to fight. It's a warrior sitting around in peace-time.
You also look to be fighting issues of maturation. It's all very well for us to know we become obsessive about say, a boyfriend's family. But there's no point thinking about it if you're not willing to do anything about it. When we find we have a flaw, the trick is to address that flaw. Deal with that flaw. Remove it.
I have noticed what you're saying about people seeing anxiety and such as being diseases they have to manage rather than stages of growth they have to manage their way through. I always mention it's surmountable but not many people are ready to hear that. The advice out there is to distract yourself, ignore the causes, stare at your navel or watch weird eastern videos (don't worry, someone will give you links shortly). The idea of facing the issue you're freaking out about, delving into it, thinking clearly about it, coming to conclusions and then acting on those conclusions regardless of any anxiety isn't the thing being handed around and yet it's what I think the cure is. Do we cure or do we manage? That is the question.