Hi internet world, I am dealing with a bad anxiety/depressive episode and am looking for some help/support/advice if anyone can lend it. Without making this a novel some quick background-- I have dealt with panic/anxiety/depression for the last 10 years. I had my first panic attack about 10 years ago and when I told my family I needed help it was dismissed and I was told to get over it and people had it worse than me. This made me feel extremely guilty and I kept all my feelings private while I spiraled out of control with constant worry/anxiety/and depression that new rules my life daily for the most part.
As I became more withdrawn my friends didnt really help either, I have close friends but they are not a touchy feely group. As a result I spent most of my 20's and early 30's hidden and reading every self help book I could get my hands on (My kindle library probably paid amazons electric bill). While this self help did help a little, it didnt help alot of my issues and I basically gritted my teeth to get through each day. On the surface I have a good career, a house, a dog but im not happy at all.
Recently, I have been spiraling into depression as my birthday approaches (going to be 34). I have realized I have not really done anything with my life and wasted most of my 20's lost in anxiety and depression. I have a career thats unfulling, no family, no wife, no girlfriend.... Im starting to feel like what is the point of anything. I am not suicidal , I want to live but its more of a point of view that Im not sure why we are on this earth and what we should be doing.
To take the situation a step further I have a friend getting married who is the last of my friends/family that was single--- this leaves only me. I cant tell you how lonely this is. I have always been awkward talking to girls and have only had a few gf's in my lifetime. I have tried every dating site, every social event but im the guy who is nice but only lives in the friend zone. I am routinely the 3rd wheel at everything and am usually the butt of jokes that I cant get a gf.
I just feel like nothing is going right and I'm stuck in life, I dont know how to make it better but have limited support in my social circles. It doesnt seem like anyone understands. I have recently spoken to both a psychiatrist and a therapist and have been doing so for a few months but I feel like I am a transaction to them and they dont really support me.
Im not sure if anyone on here has experienced anything similiar but any kind of support would be appreciated. TY.
Hey all. I haven't posted in awhile, but today was super weird and discouraging and maybe someone will have shared in my experience. I've been on the forum for about 7 months. My anxiety is intricately linked to chronic illness and my struggle with that. I have yet to find a proper diagnosis or see the right doc, but I am treating it as onset (after a terrible URI or Covid last Feb 2020) case...
HelloHas anyone felt this way, that everything is going fine and then suddenly without any known triggers the anxiety creeps in. I was feeling fine and then suddenly the palpitations started again. I am trying deep breathing and relaxation excersises but it really baffles me as to why it suddenly out of nowhere attacks you. Any ideas. Thanks