Hi internet world, I am dealing with a bad anxiety/depressive episode and am looking for some help/support/advice if anyone can lend it.  Without making this a novel some quick background-- I have dealt with panic/anxiety/depression for the last 10 years.  I had my first panic attack about 10 years ago and when I told my family I needed help it was dismissed and I was told to get over it and people had it worse than me.  This made me feel extremely guilty and I kept all my feelings private while I spiraled out of control with constant worry/anxiety/and depression that new rules my life daily for the most part.  

As I became more withdrawn my friends didnt really help either, I have close friends but they are not a touchy feely group.  As a result I spent most of my 20's and early 30's hidden and reading every self help book I could get my hands on (My kindle library probably paid amazons electric bill).  While this self help did help a little, it didnt help alot of my issues and I basically gritted my teeth to get through each day.  On the surface I have a good career, a house, a dog but im not happy at all.

Recently, I have been spiraling into depression as my birthday approaches (going to be 34).  I have realized I have not really done anything with my life and wasted most of my 20's lost in anxiety and depression.  I have a career thats unfulling, no family, no wife, no girlfriend.... Im starting to feel like what is the point of anything.  I am not suicidal , I want to live but its more of a point of view that Im not sure why we are on this earth and what we should be doing. 

To take the situation a step further I have a friend getting married who is the last of my friends/family that was single--- this leaves only me.  I cant tell you how lonely this is.  I have always been awkward talking to girls and have only had a few gf's in my lifetime.  I have tried every dating site, every social event but im the guy who is nice but only lives in the friend zone.  I am routinely the 3rd wheel at everything and am usually the butt of jokes that I cant get a gf.

I just feel like nothing is going right and I'm stuck in life, I dont know how to make it better but have limited support in my social circles.  It doesnt seem like anyone understands.  I have recently spoken to both a psychiatrist and a therapist and have been doing so for a few months but I feel like I am a transaction to them and they dont really support me.

Im not sure if anyone on here has experienced anything similiar but any kind of support would be appreciated.  TY.