Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello. My name is nina. If you're reading this, thank you. My parents were separated when i was around 5 years old, but we still lived together because my mother wanted to make me happy and she thought that a dramatic change at that age would hurt me emotionally. Around 2009 my parents were officially divorced, but i never knew why until my mom told me a little bit about it when i was around the age of 12. Like most divorce you can probably guess my dad was cheating on my mother. A year later i found out my dad was cheating on my mother with men. My father isn't the kind of person to talk about his feelings and throughout the whole divorce my father never gave me any answers. More and more resentment grew towards my father. Still today, my father leaves during the middle of the night to god knows where. Him not answering my texts at certain hours and him being late to pick me up. A few weeks ago i found a bra and underwear on my bookshelf that wasn't mine and i know it because the cups were too small and it just upset me to know that he cheated on my mom with men and then is now having sex with women? also my fathers cleanliness has deteriorated throughout these 5 years as well. He doesn't wash his hands after the bathroom, doesn't shower, and doesn't change his clothes on a regular basis. I never go in the basement and today i went down and there were stains on the chair where the crotch area was and it made me sick. I don't know what to do with my father and i am so angry with the way he is now. He was never like this when i was younger and i feel like the father i grew up with is no longer in my life and it is just a man who drops me off at school. I have no emotional relationship with my dad and my mother was in a motorcycle accident in 2012 and her injuries still affect her today. she is in pain all of the time and i hate watching her struggle. I don't know. Maybe my situation isn't bad. I just need someone to guide me and i don't know what to do. It is affecting my life. I'm always stressed out and upset and i feel like im not able to have fun because im worried about my mother or my dad going out and contracting aids. IM sorry if this is fucked up. I KNOW LOL
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
Here is something important for you to remember as you process the experience you are sharing here.
You are responsible for what you say, do, and how you react. You are NOT responsible for what others say, do, and how they react.
In finding a new balance where you are calm, comfortable and able to process events in a positive way, you will have to put your well-being first in figuring out how you want to handle your choices.
Stay hydrated. Practice even breathing. Do gentle motion movements to focus "in the moment" thinking.
You have taken the important first step in writing this out.
When you change your response to fit your well-being, it will bring about change in others' response, as their usual response will no longer fit. It does not always change for the better, but it does change, and you change to improve your well-being with those changes, and it does work for you.
Best wishes!
About therapy...therapy is about helping you deal with your life. It's not going to get your dad to stop being gay or stop going out at night.
As for the chair...there's a fix to that. Say "dad, this is gross", and throw a sheet on it. Better yet are waterproof crib pads (I have a dozen, they're great for all sorts of things). They last forever, are cheap, and are easy to throw into the wash.
His behavior...make him sound like he's depressed. Depression is difficult, and ubiquitous. You didn't cause it. You can't fix it. Confronting him won't change it.
Maybe it would help to understand it better:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc&t=138s