Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello. I see a lot of 'i'm new here' posts so thought I would try. I'm currently batting severe depression. Things get pretty dark at times. I see a therapist but no medication yet.
I'm not in a great spot. Currently separated from my wife. It's 50/50 if we actually divorce or work things out, but she's not here. About 4 months ago I decided I needed to fix myself to help work things out so I started seeing a therapist. Before that I felt ok, just wanted to get back togehther. But the more I learned about myself the more horrified I became. I was emotionally abusive. I'm horrified by it and can't stop thinking about those things, constant regret. I want so badly to reset the past 10 years. I guess it's good I'm aware so I can change, but now I have contant stomach pains, feels like my nerves are on fire, not sleeping.... what most everyone here is going through.
My therapist says it's OCD behavior, the fact that I think about it so much. Then I wonder how it affected our child. And I've been obsessing there too, worried about her future career, if she marries, things like that. Like I'm worried about all of it. Before therapy I didn't think much about it, wasn't really engaged in her college career, which gives me something else to regret. Now I'm engaged, but too much, like I want to solve everything now, immediately. Generally speaking I wasn't mean but also not supportive enough, as a dad I didn't work on her self esteem much. She gets good grades though. I'm proud of her, just wish I had said it more.
And for some reason I'm now hyper sensitive to society. I'll leave politics out of this since it gets so toxic, but I feel like both sides, and the media, actively want us fighting with each other. I read and go over different news sites way too much. Obsessing on not only the content but how everyone reports it. I worry about all this too - what will things look like 10 years from now? 20? Would I even want grandchildren? The world seems so crazy right now. This is where my mind goes. I know it's not healthy. I'm trying to stay away from all of it for the rest of the evening. It's partly why I'm posting here, to distract myself.
Anyway, constant thoughts, worry, lack of sleep, then this horrible depression fog that just doesn't allow you to think. And I'm worried medication won't help.
In one piece of good news, I have an appointment with family dr monday, it was moved up from a later date. They may prescribe something. But the psychiatrist at my therapist's office doesn't have an opening until January. I had to wait 3 weeks just to hear that. How can that be? Whatever, trying not to think of it.
Anyway, as I'm sure with most, my thoughts are a lot more complicated than that, but that's enough. I've enjoyed the site so far. Horrible that any of us have to be here but it's nice to know you're not alone.
-
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
You are doing a great job by writing it out.
Separate each of those situations, and take the time to sort out everything.
The more you write out everything, the pattern of thought will help you figure out what will work best when for your well-being.
Here's the thing about the past, and making changes for the present to help yourself feel better naturally. You are responsible for what you say, do, act, and react and respond. You are NOT responsible for what others say and do.
If you learned from your previous experience, that is a lesson learned. Move on from it, and practice how you want to be towards yourself in a positive way, and it will make it easier to be positive naturally.
Best wishes.
and? ? ? what was the question? ? ?
i used to think it was horrible that i had to be here, but i have met quite allot of unsung heroes over the course of managing my anxiety handicap and all the psycho snot knots attached. the more of these unsung heroes i get to know, the harder it is for me to see being here as horrible. collateral beauty happens in the most tragic of circumstance.
yes, it is nice to know you're not alone. welcome aboard.
Question is - do other with OCD identify with anything I state?
Sorry if post isn't in right spot. I know I have anxiety but therapist says OCD too, even though I don't have the stereotypical OCD symptoms we see in media.
Bigger question would be if anyone found relief from medication, therapy, etc.
Dear friends. The note above is an attempt to help anona123. Out of respect for him, please don't turn this into a political brawl. I only wanted to let him know that others with anxiety concur that politics are very tough and I hope he receives some support from us. Thanks.
Thanks for the disclaimer too. Yeah we don't want a brawl. I assume everyone here is struggling so hopefully now. That too is depressing.
apology NOT accepted for losing your question in the rambling. i get lost often in the ramblings of my strictly personal psycho-sorting and this is a safe place for that to be okay. it's allowed.
to answer your question,
posilutely, i relate to many of your ocd ticks. every case is unique, but it often seems like none of our cases are unique enough to justify the freakazoid feeling i get from feeling so unique that i am completely alone in my suffering.
i have found some relief in medication, but nothing sustainable. in the early going, medication helped me stabilize my condition far enough that was able to find my sustainable relief in psychotherapy and peer support. i'm still not cured, but my program works when i work it.
My dr appt went well. They have me Prozac, 10mg for 2 weeks then 20 mg for 2 more then we have a check in. On week 3 overall. Plus Trazodone for sleep. Initially that didn't seem to work but now it's helping.
I'm in a cycle now where I do have some ok days. Not good or great, but ok.
I still live in the past a lot. I think I've discussed in other threads but it's clear I was a raging narcissist the past 10 years and I can't get that time back. When I think about it, it's just very painful.
And I still worry about the future.
@Hypergal - I have removed some news feeds from my phone and unfollowed a lot of accounts on social media. I also have GNN app so that's funny. I'm also hoping it cheers me up a little.
I don't think I mentioned in initial post but I had a lot of suicidal thoughts as well. Last month it was getting intense. By end of month that settled down and currently not an issue like it was. One day at a time though.
Anyway, I'm trying. It's very hard to let go of the past. My therapist says I need to forgive myself but that feels impossible.