Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Having a hard time.

emo_nemo
emo_nemo

hey guys.


So I know some of you have not read my last post, so let me quickly recap- I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and he is emotionally and verbally abusive. Prior to this I was raised by an emotionally abusive father. I’ve dealt with panic attacks and awful anxiety since childhood.


I was ready to leave my husband after I found out he had met a woman at a bar last August (he claimed nothing happened) but stayed when he broke down and told me he was suicidal. Part of me believed him and the other part thought he’s just saying it so I don’t leave.


Since then I’ve been having increased anxiety and panic attacks along with bouts of depression. I’m so unhappy. I was ready to leave again last month when he broke down again. He spoke to a chaplain and is now seeking counseling for depression.


I’m glad he’s getting help. But I’m also pissed as hell. I’ve put up with so much from him and it always ends up being about him. I know it’s selfish, but when do I get a turn?? When do my feelings become important? Now he’s feeling bad and needs me to be nice and loving. I don’t want to! I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling. I just know that I have his deep rooted anger festering in me. 


We have two kids and I’m so glad he’s getting help. I absolutely believe he is depressed. I’ve known for a while but he refused help. I just don’t know if I can get my head and heart back in this relationship but I do care about him and my kids need their father. 


Thanks for letting me vent. I have an appointment with counselor next week but I’ve been feeling so depressed I just needed to get it out. I’m trying to keep busy so I don’t let it consume me but it’s been hard today. Much love to all of you.

arfie
arfie
I solidly disagree that it is selfish to make your own feelings in this important.
Our true feelings leak out, no matter how hard we work to repress them. Sincere respect for them is the only way I have found to keep my feelings and actions moving forward on the same honest page.

Thrilled to hear you have an appointment next week.

Until then and even after, vent freely. Vent often. It's allowed.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Vent safely. Using a journal is easy to keep track of.

By acknowledging your feelings are valid, and understanding that in the conversation they do not need to be presented, is such a huge weight lifted in moving forward.

Hurrah for setting up appointment. Best wishes!
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Hey Emo Nemo, I am glad that you have moved from fear to anger. DS is a place where we can be honest and open about our feelings. Almost sounds like you are raising three children. I hear your loving heart under that anger. Support whenever you want it. Hugs to all.
emo_nemo
emo_nemo
Thank you guys so much. Unfortunately my anxiety has isolated me from society so I don’t have any friends. I plan on changing this now that I’m on a mission to get my life back on track, but until then I am so glad to have found you guys. I have no idea who you are, what you look like, or where you are- BUT, thank you!!! It helps more than you know.
arfie
arfie
In my senses, the most magical part of the worldwide peer support network, both live and digital, is how healing anonymous support can be. The healing of one is the healing of us all.

Thank you for strengthening our network with your participation, Emo.
calm
calm
Write you husband a letter. Get it all out, every last feeling and resentment. If you don't want to give him the letter, it will help to get it out. I did that with resentments and regrets in the past and I burned my letters.
LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe
It's possible he IS being a manipulator, and using you, and just giving what you want so you don't look into his actions anymore.. He could be depressed but he could be using you and just want a fling with someone else, mad he got caught. I've been with this type of man. I am still with this type of man and trust me, your relationship will Never. Be. The. Same. You will always wonder. Your mental health will always suffer.

I made the choice to stay, as you have done. It's not an easy choice. Just know things will get better, make sure to take time for yourself, and don't feel guilty for being a bitch. He doesn't get to treat you like shit, and then ask for your love and support. He messed up. It's up to him to fix it. It sounds like he did something bad and turned it around on you
LaPetiteGen
LaPetiteGen
I am so sorry that you are struggling and have been living with a history of suffering at the hands of those that you love. First, know that you a valued and know your personal feelings are important! Even feelings of anger are natural and valid. It sounds like your husband is hurting and has caused you pain in the process. More importantly, you are hurting and deserve a chance for healing. I am thrilled to hear that your husband is seeking help, but I am most encouraged that you see the value in getting help for yourself. Please don’t give up on your family. Sometimes just having a way to express yourself, gain advice and learn ways to heal and forgive is priceless. But time and patience are necessary tools. Rooting for you in your quest for healing and hoping the best for your family!
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