Hello St Lake. Welcome to DS. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

Wow, that's allot to juggle. If I had a magic wand to make it all subside this very minute, you would still need a healing period to recover from all that. Since all of my magic wands have turned out to be just sticks that were too wimpy to use for self-defense, the best I have to offer is a healing hope that you will feel safe to vent and sort all that here.

Listening. . . You are not alone.

Welcome aboard. Hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

You need support for yourself. It's important. Ask the hospital if there is a online support group of relatives, caregivers of people with cancer. Take some time for yourself to unwind. A long hot shower, walk around the block, listen to music, etc.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.

Take care of you first. Keep your well-being first. As a care giver, it's easy to fall into burnout, so take time to renew your strength, relax your tensed muscle, and respect your need for venting safely and letting it out.

It's hard taking care of others, and you're doing a good job of it. Here's to finding success in what you are making the best of.

Thanks everyone for your support. I was able to back away from a panic attack with your help. Please keep in touch.

Welcome, stlake. :)

This morning I'm again on the edge of a panic attack. My wife's condition is getting worse and I can't focus and I feel like I'm going to throw-up all the time. I feel like a zombie. I've been trying things like meditation and going for walks, but they don't seem to work. I also am taking an anti-anxiety drug, but it makes me tired.

Hi StLake,

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I've been chewing a lot of gum and it helps a little. Maybe give it a try?

Don't be too quick to assume those therapy tools aren't working. It is a physical fact that it is easier to pick an object up off the bottom than it is to stop an object in motion. Carrying that physical fact to the metaphorical realm of mental health, these are the times in life where "Not Worse" is solid progress.

You are still here. You are still trying. Steadying support while you weather the storm. Be gentle with yourself and patient with the process.

@stlake, Great that you've summarized out your situation so well. U know...we all face overccoming odds sooner or later in our lives...I'm sure you know of others and now you're in many circumstances that are overwhelming.
Couple of things:
1) You are on Anxiety meds, that is good, it'll smooth out the rough peaks, but as you know it also has it's side effects you're experiencing. The meds are made to smooth out the rough peaks, it also means you need to slow down.
2) I know it's not easy to slow down, as you navigate through your life. Only let things enter into your life bubble that you have influence over. It may sound harsh or uncaring, but if you implode and destruct, you'll also be good to no body. Self care as someone said in their post, which means, you should only enter into the situations that you are closest too.
3) Realize that you cannot control or fix anything or anyone. Health and aging isn't something that can be fixed, aging cannot be stopped. Each of us has to come to the realization that health, aging and circumstances will and are happening all the time, and it is our 'reaction' our 'response' in each situation that'll bring you more comfort or anxiety.
4) Just be there, your presence with each person closest to you....especially your wife first and foremost....then your mom. If you have more bandwidth, then visit your brother. If you try to handle everyone and feel guilty about trying to be there for everyone, then other parts of your life will fall apart.
5) After your wife first, who will give you encouragement and support for your caring, it'll give you energy to visit your mom. Then your interactions at work will be better managable, and your neighbor... sit and talk with him... be a friend. What else can we do with our neighbors?
6) Minimize your world, take your meds, get out for a walk...again, as another put it...self care. Don't feel guilty about everyone else...stay in your lane and capacity.

@alohabbq, Thank you very much for the excellent observations and advise.
I will try to minimize the things that enter my bubble.

I love my wife so much and thinking that she might have to go through more treatment is excruciating. I can't get it out of my head. About two years ago she had surgery and returned four times to the hospital for complications (each for a week) for a total of five weeks. I spent every night in the room with her. I remember one time we were heading back to the hospital in the car and she start crying and said she didn't want to go back so plantify. This has been going on for 10 years and it killing me emotionally.

This may not be much help, but I understand those feelings. I have different situations/problems, but very similar feelings. You're not alone.

My life just keeps getting worse. I don't know how to stop the pain. My wife's physical pain keeps getting worse.

I feel like I'm about to go insane. Family and friends can't help because I end up consoling them and I don't have the energy. I would really appreciate if you would friend me and we could exchange messages.

Please help, I'm dying inside.