Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I've been coming on here quite a bit lately for advice because I've been having a really rough time at college after being off a semester and then the summer. I had to take a medical leave last semester because I was in a really bad place, dealing with an eating disorder and anxiety.
I am back at school now, and taking 4 courses (16 credits). Last semester, one of the professors in my department emailed me and asked if I would be willing to tutor for statistics. I thought about it for a long time, and despite knowing it would be really difficult with my social anxiety, I agreed to do it.
I went through the peer tutor training and everything, and have tutored three times so far. I have appointments booked all next week and the week after, too. However, I left my last appointment yesterday in tears. It's becoming obvious to me that this tutoring thing is too much for me to handle. Yesterday, I was tutoring a girl who was having a very hard time, and got so nervous I started feeling dizzy and shaky. Whenever I get anxious, I tend to dissociate, and that makes it really hard to think. I know I was not explaining the concepts well AT ALL because I couldn't think straight because I felt so out of it. I know she got nothing from our appointment and at the end of it, she looked so let down. I didn't help her at all. I'm shaky on the material as it is, since I took the class over a year ago, and when I'm nervous, it makes it even worse. I'm not going to be able to help these students, and it's not fair to them.
The only problem is that I've already committed to doing this, and I'm the type of person who doesn't like to back out of things once I say I will do them. There are only a few other tutors in the psych dept., and I don't know if any of them tutor for stats. I also don't want my professors to think I'm just quitting because I don't care about the job or the commitment I made. I don't want them to think I'm unreliable or careless. The school I go to is so small, that all the professors know who you are too. I saw one of the professors on the first day of class, and she mentioned how great it is that I'm tutoring this year.
As dumb as this sounds, I just wanted to do something to have my professors notice me and like me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something that made me anxious. But now I am seriously regretting my decision and thinking I jumped in way too fast. I need to take baby steps, and this was too big of a leap for me. I cannot handle the pressure of all of this, and I am afraid it will interfere with my own classwork. I've been so anxious the past week, I have found it hard to concentrate. I'm sorry that was so long, but I really just don't know what to do. If I quit, I will feel ashamed to face my professors, and worry they will think I'm irresponsible or that they'll be mad at me. But if I keep doing this tutoring, I feel like I'm just going to fall apart. It's too much, and I know I'm not helping the students at all when I'm so anxious. Please help?!?!
I am back at school now, and taking 4 courses (16 credits). Last semester, one of the professors in my department emailed me and asked if I would be willing to tutor for statistics. I thought about it for a long time, and despite knowing it would be really difficult with my social anxiety, I agreed to do it.
I went through the peer tutor training and everything, and have tutored three times so far. I have appointments booked all next week and the week after, too. However, I left my last appointment yesterday in tears. It's becoming obvious to me that this tutoring thing is too much for me to handle. Yesterday, I was tutoring a girl who was having a very hard time, and got so nervous I started feeling dizzy and shaky. Whenever I get anxious, I tend to dissociate, and that makes it really hard to think. I know I was not explaining the concepts well AT ALL because I couldn't think straight because I felt so out of it. I know she got nothing from our appointment and at the end of it, she looked so let down. I didn't help her at all. I'm shaky on the material as it is, since I took the class over a year ago, and when I'm nervous, it makes it even worse. I'm not going to be able to help these students, and it's not fair to them.
The only problem is that I've already committed to doing this, and I'm the type of person who doesn't like to back out of things once I say I will do them. There are only a few other tutors in the psych dept., and I don't know if any of them tutor for stats. I also don't want my professors to think I'm just quitting because I don't care about the job or the commitment I made. I don't want them to think I'm unreliable or careless. The school I go to is so small, that all the professors know who you are too. I saw one of the professors on the first day of class, and she mentioned how great it is that I'm tutoring this year.
As dumb as this sounds, I just wanted to do something to have my professors notice me and like me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something that made me anxious. But now I am seriously regretting my decision and thinking I jumped in way too fast. I need to take baby steps, and this was too big of a leap for me. I cannot handle the pressure of all of this, and I am afraid it will interfere with my own classwork. I've been so anxious the past week, I have found it hard to concentrate. I'm sorry that was so long, but I really just don't know what to do. If I quit, I will feel ashamed to face my professors, and worry they will think I'm irresponsible or that they'll be mad at me. But if I keep doing this tutoring, I feel like I'm just going to fall apart. It's too much, and I know I'm not helping the students at all when I'm so anxious. Please help?!?!
Believe it or not, I try to explain to everybody I meet, and tell them look I have anxiety and this is how it affects me,my mind and my body! I tell them I am on meds for it and for the most part I can control it with meds, but sometimes I will have an attack and then explain to them what that means so they do not get scared if I have an attack while I am with them. Most people are cool with it, some people never go anywhere with me again, but I think if you were to sit down with you professors and explain to each of them what you are going through, I bet they would all understand 100%!
Yea maybe you did jump in too fast, but you are not the only one that does that, I do it all the time and I am sure others do too! Just be open and honest and I think that will help you out. I think it is wonderful you want to help other students, but you also have your own schooling to worry about.
Best of luck girl...I am here all the time if you wanna talk! Been where you are way too many times!