Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I think when I die I will donate my brain to sciene. Maybe then they can figure out what would have helped my anxiety and depression. It seems everything I try might help some but not enough to where I can go out and live a normal life. I once told my counsler that this anxiety was a death sentence. She told me no it wasnt. It was something that I have to overcome. Well twenty years later I am still trying to overcome this stupid disease. Maybe by the time I am 60 or 70 I will have overcome it but will be to old to enjoy life. Wow what I have to look forward to. I know what most of you are going to say. You must stay positive. Been there done that. For me staying positive only helped in a small way. I was able to not cry all day and walk out the door. Like I said maybe 20 more years and I will be able to go to the store. I did some research on anxiety and anti depressants. I found where doctors can do a blood test call cytochrome p450. This suggests which anti depressants wont work or what will have side effects on us patients. Now my question is why the hell wont they do this blood test for us? Why do they want to put us through all this pain and terrible side effects if they dont have to? My trust is just about gone in doctors. For some the positive thinking works and others it dont, just like meds. Is there anyone out there that has found nothing that works for them? I have read lots of postings on here where people talk about all they have lost due to this illness. I am right there with you. I have lost most of my friends. I dont blame them. Who would want to come over and sit and look at someone freaking out or who is down all the time. Hell it might rub off on them. Yea, yea i know the next thing someone is going to say. Surround yourself with love and happy people. Done that too. Dont work. I even rent funny movies just hoping i cant laugh. I talk with my dogs. They seem to be the only ones besides my husband that is still around. They can tell when I am down. I look at them and they even look sad. Maybe it is just me, I am seeing what I want to see. Its funny because I have been through several doctors hoping to find the right one to help me. The only one I really believe right now is my primary care doctor. He told me if I dont get control of this anxiety it will shorten my life. Not what I wanted to hear but he is right. It is taking a toll on my body. I feel it everyday. I see myself aging terribly. Some of you might think I am just wanting pitty. That could not be farther from the truth. I want help and want to get better. I cant sit on this web site all day long looking for support. It would be nice if that was all i had to do. Right now body is telling me it needs 24 hour care. That doesnt mean going into a hospital. All they will do is fill me full of drugs and I wont know what the hell is going on. I have heard stories and seen first hand what they do. I would rather die before going into a mental hospital. Sorry this is so long but i had a lot on my mind today and needed to let it out. If there is anyone out there that feels this way i would love to hear from you. i dont mind hearing from others as well. God bless all.
For example tobacco use somehow speeds up the processing of caffine and certain medications, especially certain psych meds meaning it takes a higher dose to do the same job.
In general all I can say is hang in there. Some combination of meds, philosophy , reading , support and hard work is bound to eventually help.
Everything you mention in your post I feel.
I purposely stay away from people because I fear some harm will come to me from careless remarks made by well-intentioned people.
My "friends" are tired of hearing about my feelings. "How are you", they ask ... but they don't want to know. I stopped returning their calls and they stopped calling, for the most part.
My family-they say I am malingering and need to "move on". I used to wonder, what do people mean by 'move on' because I can't ... I am stuck. Then family loves to tell me to:
"Get over it"
"stop holding on to grudges"
"pull yourself up by your boot straps"
"move on, already"
I avoid my family - they live 3 hours away thank goodness.
Why would I want to talk or be with any of these people who make comments? So, I don't answer my telephone. I don't have a cell phone like most people.
There are 2 people I talk with who semi-understand me. One is my bi-polar friend Dano and and the other friend, Harlon has major depression. Dano calls me but Harlon can't muster up the energy to call me-she is too depressed ... and I DO understand. I don't call anyone...as I feel I have nothing to contribute.
So, believe me. I understand your feelings.
I don't have a therapist or psychiatrist right now and I do need meds so have to find a p-doc next week.
I have a therapist in mind but am afraid to ask her...as I can't afford to see her. She specializes in Trauma. I'm going to try and get the courage to email her for a private session.
As far as having a husband or significant other male in my life ... I am petrified. Someone I have known from the past is attracted to me & he sends me emails, writes to me, and tells me when he's going to call so I will know when to pick up the phone. I am attracted to him...great chemistry...but I don't want anyone in my life right now. So I know I will once again sabatoge a relationship. I don't have the energy for a relationship and my romantic friend would never understand what I go through. I don't talk about my PTSD, anxiety, depression. I told him I have PTSD once only.
I pray for God to help me. My friends pray for God to help me.
As far as ever recoverying from what all I've gone through ... being born unwanted and deliberately being treated as if I didn't exist ... to marrying a man who was the same as my mother-both who have anti-social behavior. Its a pattern-this much I do know. So, it was 'normal' and 'comfortable' to be treated as though I don't exist but I was a good 'valet' to my ex-husband whose abuse far exceeded mother's abuse. I will never marry again.
I don't think I will ever recover completely. I take one day at a time. Sometimes I cry because there is no one here...other times, I have no tears.
I did read your profile and it sounds like you have been through a lot of abuse. I wonder if maybe you have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome ... which has many symptoms caused by at least one traumatic event and perhaps clusters of abuse ... and really, nobody can possibly understand PTSS unless they have it. That is what I have learned.
Sorry to ramble on but just want you to know that you are not alone. I am a "donor" so when I die, my 'good' body parts will be donated to someone who needs whatever is left of me.
Before I go I will say that I do read alot about my abusers - which for some reason helps put stuff in persepctive - like, this is not my fault and the people who harmed me automatically twisted their behavior into making me feel that I was the cause of their abuse. I wish I could call these people up and scream at them ... but they have no empathy - it is absent. So telling those who hurt me what I feel-would not matter. Its all my fault according to them. After all, I don't exist and whatever my problems are ... have nothing to do with them.
You are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers.
If you try to quit , get some help, from a cessation agency and consider using patches or other nrt
I have so much to say to this post right now but I don't have the energy. I will say though that I feel the same way!! its been 20 yrs for me as well.