Arfie,

Your first line caught me eye and I feel like you've jumped into my head. I was moved around between parents and great grandmother a lot growing up. As an adult, I married a man who moved us 11 times in 16 years. The good part was that when I had to leave that bad situation, the picking up and moving didn't scare me. I've grown use to this Gypsy lifestyle. I feel like I am constantly conflicted between wanting to finally settle but then if I do, for a short time, my soul begins to yearn for adventure. I even went and slept in my car for a month because I was essentially on the go constantly and it was an adventure. After that I went to NJ for a week and got bored, packed and left and came back to Florida and have been living with a friend. But those old gypsy feelings are calling me again. I essentially have 1 close friend but haven't seen her in 2 years. Ive moved so much that I haven't been able to establish long lasting relationships. It's a double edge sword for me. On one hand, I enjoy the peace and freedom of not having people around, but, during tough times I long for a good friend to confide in... and there is no one there. Ive found Ive met more good friends online. We never meet in person but sometimes converse daily online. It is hard to relate to people who grew up in a stable environment who still have friends from childhood. When I tell anyone I have no friends from childhood, I feel they judge me and then I feel like a freak. I have no advice but I'd say do what makes you happy. For me, it's not having the close friends, but to have the "noname" friends online. I hope this helps????

Hello Sage. Welcome to DS.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a recovering advice giver, so I listen to drunks much more closely than I listen to active advisers. I value the sharing of experience which allows me to take it or leave it far more than I value the Swami Beyondanas on their delusional mountaintops. Free advice tends to be worth twice what you pay for it. Personal experience is priceless.

For what it's worth:
Most live support groups are wanderer (gypsy) friendly. I have found some wonderful support and consolations from popping in on local groups when I find myself in crisis on the road. Life offers no guarantees, but they are always worth a shot. Alanon is my fave. I have found Alanon support on three continents and even in remote, "Third World" locations.

Growing up I was never free nor stayed in one place enough to talk to to build those childhood to adulthood friendships. I learned a lot of cordial conversation and being friendly helped me through many situations. I was friendly to my Native community but did not go to movies or personally socialize much with them. When John came into my life he had a group of those bike riding stone skipping gravel pit diving friends. I slowly learned to appreciate them. That has been dashed just as John's life has been. It took a lot to open up to them and I am not sure I will ever find another group like that. But here, I have found a few. They do more for me than I deserve.
Megwetch.

I haven't much understood most of the lifelong friendships I've observed. Not mine to sort, but they most often look more long than deep to my outsider senses.

But in sticking to what *is* mine to sort, such relationships haven't ever been available to me and the meaning of friendship remains as obscure as the charming in Prince Charming.

Seems to me that filling my social needs is easier when I let go of trying to understand friendship and focus on opening up enough to be friendly.

Being friendly is easier than being a friend in a lot of ways. Less stressful in so many situations.

That being said, I have a lifelong friend who when we get together, it's like we never stopped from our last visit. This person is special in my life, and I'm glad to have this friendship. It's a whole different ball game for me.
I know a lot of people from growing up in different places, and I'm friendly to all. My brother is not close to anyone from growing up years, and when this person was at the funeral, my brother was pleasantly surprised to see them.
At this point in my life, I'm not friends with many people. I am friendly to all.
I know what you mean about "outsider" as I have that frequently in many conversations, whether they be friends with each other or just conversing. It does make me uncomfortable, and I smile, listen, and enjoy the view.
Best wishes!

I envy you that friend, Mid. The rare occasions I have been able to share time with such friends have warmed my heart and healed my faith in humanity. On one occasion, one of the friends broke out the photo album and we shared a night of wonderfully embarrassing stories. The picture of one friend with a stick through the roof of her mouth was a hilarious mini series. . . They confessed it wasn't as funny at the time.

I have often wondered if the mysteries of friendship are a rare and precious gift not everybody gets to experience. How else could it be rare and precious? For the rest of us, friendly might be as good as it gets.

Thank you Arfie. I have gone to meetup groups in different areas. I also converse when going through hard times with a free crisis text group.
Just knowing there is someone listening sometimes helps a great deal. I hear ya..I was just telling another online friend yesterday that I give great advice, I just don't follow my own. I have a friend thats going through a similar situation as I, I stopped and listened to the advise I was giving them and wander why I can't follow it too. Peace and light be with you.

Do I give away my age to say my HS advisers thought I could be the next "Ann Landers?" They even showed me how to syndicate my work and work I did. Compulsively with the over-compensation drives of a work-a-holic. I didn't need to follow my own advice because I didn't have a life to follow my advice in to. Life felt safer that way. I have since come to wonder if admiring and following the advice of people who have no lives of their own explains allot of our cultural confusion. For sure, my shrinks were unanimous in their opines that I was using all that to deflect healing of the still infected wounds and scars of surviving child sex trafficking.

I am not at all sure the internet boom has improved the advice-giving theme a bit, but life is as life is and not as Ann Landers would have it.