I have just returned to work from a 2 month seasonal lay off. I moved to this location of work 2 years ago to advance in my career. However, the location I have moved to suppresses my inner being. I find myself sad and stressed living in this environment. I feel like a fish that was taken out of the water, put on land & told to breathe. While I was laid off I went back to where I moved from- a beautiful place surrounded by all that I love and that defines me.
I applied for the same position I currently hold but in one of these more beautiful places. I interview in 2 days. My current work caught wind and now are promoting me to prevent me from taking this job, which would now be a down grade if I was offered. Staying here would be the final step needed to make the transition into the end state of my profession. The other job would be another stepping stone that would result in a big move to take it followed by another move in the near future to finalize my career. I would also be faced with a longer period of lay-off with this position, 4 months versus no lay-off with this promotion, & the cost of living is significantly higher.
I have being weighing the costs of staying or leaving and don't know what to do. My anxiety has increased and i feel heavy inside being back here. It's only been 2 days....That heaviness makes me nervous thinking I could stick it out here mentally one more year in this promotion so I can start looking for jobs that will get me where I want to be doing what I want to do.
I keep telling myself it's only an interview. I might not make the cut and shouldn't stress until I do, but I feel I stand a very high chance of getting offered this job & need to be prepared to give an answer shortly after the interview. Currently, I have no clue.
My brain says to stay is smart and I am mentally strong enough to cope with this place one more year and really focus on the positives, but my heart says go back to what you love, where you love, closer to the people you love.
Today, was so much better. I could feel my anxiety trying to take over but the first time I went for a walk and brought a security "object" with me. It did help. And then at lunch which is when I know I get the most anxiety, I could feel it just below the surface. So I asked my friends to tell funny stories and that helped. And then when I was by myself where my anxiety could reach me again, I...
Woke later today, but I am scared stiff yet again, going to see a friend of mine for an hour. It is an hour exactly, its like an appointment, I like seeing her though, my head hurts again this morning. But not as bad as before I'd rather stay in bed, today than get up!