Hello everyone,

I sought out this group because I am a naturally anxious person who is going through a major change, and it feels not only devastating, but also totally overwhelming. Although I am proactively working to care for my physical and mental health, I work with a therapist on a weekly basis, and I have support of friends and family, I am still experiencing very intense emotions and anxiety, which sometimes feels unbearable.

Despite being open with loved ones about how I feel, I am concerned about sharing the full extent of my experiences, since I have a history of unhealthy relationship patterns. I am working on improving my boundaries, learning to manage my life and emotionally regulate myself. (Which feels so hard sometimes). But I still feel an intense need to share what I am feeling, so here I am.

Some of my friends can understand me, but I guess I find myself feeling uncomfortable when everyone has a different approach, which often includes advice and encouragement and positive reminders (I do appreciate that it comes from a loving place) but their show of support displays that they don't understand the extent of how bad I feel, or that it's not a simple fix as they would believe. I am trying to do manage myself, I write in a journal almost every day, but it's not enough, and it's not the same as being listened to. Why is it that sharing out loud to someone else feels so different?

My feelings are so intense that it feels very hard to live my life and "be myself". Some days I am relieved of my worries, some moments I am able to go about my business like normal. But even in those moments, I often feel exhausted, tense, worried, etc. I also feel so frustrated that I seem to only be able to function at partial capacity because of my anxiety. It has such a tangible presence in my life.

I try to remind myself that I am going through a challenging transition. It wouldn't be eany for anyone. And it's the middle of a pandemic, to boot. But reminding myself these facts doesn't lessen the intensity of how I feel.

It sounds so easy to focus and go about my business, to live my life and accomplish things. But day to day reality is that I feel deeply troubled all the time, for many years.