I've kinda been in the same boat, and I'm sorry you're going through this. Believe me, I know how stressful it is for you, and I can imagine how stressful it is for your boyfriend.

It sounds like the situation calls for a little more understanding from both sides, and probably a little more communication.

For me, for a long time, I think it was because I doubted his love for me. And I was always scared I was losing him.

And it took my getting to a place where I feel secure in his love for me. I am starting to back off and give him some space. I know I've probably been overwhelming, and I realized that it's my responsibility to remember that I don't need constant reassurance. He loves me. I'm sure of it. So when I feel anxious, I'm getting to a point where I can sit back, take a breath, and remind myself that he loves me. He didn't just stop loving me overnight. He isn't lying (he'd have no reason to).

By the same token, if his moodiness is spiking your anxiety, that's something he should also work on getting under control. Because it's not really fair that all the fault falls on you when it sounds like you're having issues communicating. That's usually a two-way street.

Sounds like a conversation needs to happen between you. I hope you can reach a point of compromise and find some peace.

For me, I don't want to hurt or smother my boyfriend, I don't want him to be annoyed or feel trapped or feel like I'm nagging him (it's complicated).

Just try sitting down and having a mature discussion. If he tells you he loves you, let that be enough for you, and remind yourself of that whenever the anxiety creeps in.

I hope this helps.

Hope the both of you find peace soon.

^^ i 100% agree with them and i've been dealing with the situation i always have doubts and get very bad anxiety that he can't handle me always thinking he isn't going to put up with me much longer he might get annoyed but he always reassures me that he's always there for me and loves me no matter what he said sometimes we'll have our bad days but that won't change how we feel about each other so you need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious conversation "if you can't handle my bad days then you don't deserve me at my good days because i'm a bad bitch"

Hello Alandahl. Welcome to DS.

Broadening your support network, like you did in joining here, is an excellent first step in dealing with this dilemma. Loved ones are notoriously lousy therapists. Having more objective supporters to help me sort my psych symptoms from my external confusions helps both me and my loved ones more than I can say. Pre-sorting my personal confusions within my support network before I sit down for the serious discussions with my loved ones helps keep the conversations more coherent. I tend to be all over the emotional map during that early sorting and, predictably, it stresses my loved ones far more than is fair to them.

Gentle support while you sort. Welcome aboard.

I am in a relationship with a very moody person. And my panic disorder can sometimes become a bit much for myself to keep under control. You really just need to work on yourself. And dont worry about the whole smothering him and bothering him. If he is with you then he is with you. Your anxiety shouldnt be any reason for someone to take off. You can tell him u are trying but his moods make it hard. BELIEVE ME a moody bf is the worst. But from experience i will let you know. ITS NOT YOU. Best to just leave him alone during those times. How are you dealing with your anxiety? Are you in therapy? Do you take meds?

Diane22 I do not do any of that, I try and handle it on my own.

I can totally relate to you. For the longest time, I thought my husband's job was to know my needs without me even telling him and that he was my sole source of happiness. What I realized is that he was as screwed up and insecure as I was and that I had to bring healthy me into our relationship, with healthy communication and vulnerabilities communicated before he could truly understand where I was coming from and even begin to help out.
Have you sat down and communicated openly to your boyfriend your struggles and wanting to find healing and wellness emotionally?
A great book that has some great tools to combatting anxiety is this: https://bit.ly/2OSDnMO Hoping you find some great answers and help!

Here's a simple way to help you regain your sense of balance and strength.
You are NOT responsible for how your partner feels, thinks, or responds. You are responsible for how you feel, think, and or respond. Once you put your well-being first and work on finding ways you can put you back in balance, you'll notice that the things you've written about here will find their solutions in healthy directions.
When two moodies are partners, they both have to figure out what they want and be able to work with. The very things that attract the two of you are the ways to work through the path to find what works in the moment.
If you're depending on someone else for ..., take a huge step back and look at what you can depend on yourself for.
Journal writing is a safe way to explore those options and consider what might be best when.
Best wishes.

Welcome aboard this DS lifeboat. You have received such wonderful replies, I shall simply send calming and comforting hugs.