Hello Ajtene. Welcome to the anxiety forum. Sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

Proof unavailable, but I opine:
However similar my problems may be to yours, the differences are important and impossible to assume with functional accuracy. In a befuddled state, typically even the suffering soul doesn't know which assumptions are accurate and which will only lead the further down the path of Hell bound good intentions. The missed assumptions only give the confused person more to sort in clearing the tangles inside their own heads. However much I might want to stick screwdrivers in their ears to tighten those loose screws, ^it^ remains theirs to sort. I believe the best thing I can do to help a person through a crisis is to keep my ears open and my mouth shut for any opinions more volatile than votes of confidence in their ability to work ^it^ out themselves and assurances that I am there for them if/when the need arises.

From my own end, it is all too easy to want to fix other people so much that I end up paving yet another road to Hell with my good intentions. While the suffering soul sorts their own, I benefit from the psychotherapy exercises in detachment which I learned during my codependency therapy. Girl Howdy, I need the practice.

Three things to do every day. Write out in journal all of your feelings as you have done here. Your feelings are valid and they need to be expressed in private - no sharing with family or friends involved in your life.

Here's how this separation will help you find your new balance: you will begin to find ways to respond that improve your well-being.

You changing your response will force the other person to change their response as their usual response will no longer fit.

Sometimes, more misunderstandings happen, however, you see the difference and continue to put your well-being first.

Just because someone says it does NOT make it your problem. It's their problem.

The fact that you are aware of others being contacted while you are kept in silence is probably a hidden blessing in disguise.

Here is an option to consider: this person knows you are dealing with issues that seem similar to theirs, and rather than continue to raise the same feelings up with you and make you more prone to those feelings reactions, they are being considerate enough to know they are not ready to converse with you on a balanced level. They know they are your support system, and you are theirs in a particular way.

The second thing to do each day is pick a positive word or image and use that to help you focus on things you do for you. Stand in front of mirror and practice it, stand tall and get comfortable and use that to help you remain calm when those pesky feelings rise up.

The third thing to do each day is to choose to feel the best about you and what you do each day.

This is what I've gained from reading your post. You are much stronger than you realize and you have more courage to help others than you realize. It's now time to help yourself! with your strength and courage!

Best wishes!

Many thanks two both of you - l can understand what your both are saying and wil give your surguession ago do have a great day

It's probably just a typo, but I might be in love with your coinage of "surguession." Cool word potential. Maybe a guru guesstimate?

"I surguess you sit on a mountain top and contemplate the lint in your belly button." Oh=h=h=h=hmm-m-m-m. . .

Sometimes all you can do is let go and pray for them. Who knows why they aren't reaching out. There are so many possibilities, but sounds like you have done only good to them, so let go. They may come to you or not, but continuing to reach out will only hurt you if you feel rejected. We can't force people to be close to us. Sometimes they don't want answers from those who understand, or advice from the wise, just to be left alone or cry on a shoulder, without words. You have been very kind and that is all you can do.