I have given myself permission to take a flight of "thought and travel" when I can not seem to connect to what I'm surrounded by.

This often leads to some great story writing and telling.

Best wishes as you keep on moving through the moment. Look at nature to help you stay in the moment.

Hugs

Gentle empathy, Nikki. It is, indeed, tough stuff to describe, much less explain, even to somebody who experiences similar symptoms and has found the care to listen to my verbal vomit.

Alas, managing those symptoms is strictly an inside job. Nobody can do ^it^ for me, no matter how much they care and/or understand. Even the power of Big Pharma can only mask those symptoms for an addiction-inducing while. It's up to me to get to the underlying causes.

Steadying support while you sort your own.

Hi Nikki,
Thank you for being so brave and sharing your experience with us. I have to tell you that you are not going insane I have felt and am feeling the same way. Two years ago I had my first bout with this horrible condition and after finding the right psychologist and my doctor putting me on SSRIs I thought I had beat it and lived my life happily and normal for the past two years. Then last Sunday this hell of a disease made it appearance again and just like you I feel disconnected with myself and you can’t find the words to explain it. I got outpatient care in the hospital and still do not feel completely normal. A person in here told me that when I am anxious to write all of my thoughts out and what I am feeling and that really really helped me so it might help you as well. It is a crazy time in this world and getting some fresh air might help you release some of the tension that your body is feeling. I cannot go to sleep or stay asleep currently without taking medication but today I took a big step and decided that I was going to get through this day with no Xanax just what I can control inside. I did meditation, yoga, drank some calming tea and tried to organize some things just to get my mind off of what I was feeling. When it comes to appetite I didn’t eat anything for almost four days and yesterday was the first day I could say I ate. Some advice I could give you is eat at least two healthy meals a day wether you are hungry or not because not eating will just make your anxiety worse

I am here for you. Remember "No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell."

Nikki, I am so sorry you are going through this. You described to me what you are going through. It’s a valid fear, you are not crazy. Sometimes when we feel we have no control over our life, our mind comes up with fear responses, anxiety and panic. However lack of sleep can feed into this as well making your fear even worse. It sounds like you might have somniphobia which is a type of anxiety disorder. A weighted blanked might help you sleep. Here are some websites that talk about the disorder: I hope you feel better soon.

https://www.healthline.com/health/somniphobia

https://fearapy.com/phobias/overcome-somniphobia/

Hi Nikki

You are not alone. For the last 5 weeks, I have been experiencing the same symptoms. I don’t feel like myself, I sometimes struggle to fall asleep, and I can stay asleep like I used to. My appetite has also vanished. For two weeks, I barely ate. As I started noticing the weight loss, I forced myself to eat something, but I still don’t have an appetite. I struggle to sit still, and I am constantly shaky. I’ve been trying meditation and yoga, which is sometimes helpful.
Hang in there. Try to exercise a bit. It helps with sleep, and your mind. Also, make a routine for yourself. It gives you some structure, and perhaps less time to spend on worrying.