Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Last night, for my job, I took a class on how to help children with anxiety. It didn't take long for me to start seeing myself and finding tips that I could use. One of the tips was to, when calm, prepare an "emergency checklist" of things to do when anxiety strikes. I found it to be a moment of synchronicity, because my husband had asked yesterday morning how he could help, and I had been working on a list while waiting for the class to start. I realized this list is my emergency checklist.
Though all of things on the list came from my head, it was so helpful to have them down in black-and-white. I did have a bit of anxiety later that night, and the list was right there for me to use -- all by myself. Usually, I forget and just get lost.
Does anybody else have a list like that?
Does anybody want to share lists and perhaps swap ideas -- or just remember something good we haven't tried in a while?
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
The description of one observer is very telling. You are calm, peaceful, and concise with your words, had zero clue anything was going on different. That, to me, was a huge breakthrough. It showed me that all of the times people connect, share, and encourage each other does pay off.
You've got this covered! Best wishes!
Too often I start the day in an absent mined way and forget obvious things. When I do I try not to get upset with myself and make an effort to think about upcoming situations and how I will react. This is much the same a keeping a list and later when I use the information I congratulate myself for the success. Eventually would like to let go and think on my feet.
Though I quoted the teacher's verbage of "emergency checklist", the one I made for my husband ( and myself) is not so much for full-on crises. It's more of a list of early intervention strategies. I divided it up into Tactile/proprioceptive, Oral/olofactory/gustatory/medicinal, Auditory & Visual/cognitive strategies. And some I tagged as either relaxing or uplifting, as way of helping my spouse narrow down the choices needed in different situations.
For example the Tactile/Proprioceptive: relaxing section includes my L-shaped pillow, a heavy quilt, a hot rice bag, a cold pillow, a foot bath or a smooth stone to rub.
I do feel fortunate that my husband is now taking the anxiety seriously and that he wants to help. We'll see if the list turns into action. For decades my husband has seen my anxiety as part of the rational part of me, a part that was criticizing him, doubting his skills and his judgement and refusing to trust him. He took it personally. (It wasn't entirely his self-absorption at fault. My anxiety was too slight to be diagnosed when I was younger, and it has crept up gradually, and I didn't always recognize it for what it is.) Even when he began to understand what was going on, he didn't want to deal with it, because he didn't see a way to fix it and have it stay fixed. (His preferred mode of action.) It's taken a crisis and some counseling and some enhanced negotiation to get us to this point. This list started as me making an effort to help him feel less helpless. We have yet to see how much it will help him, but at least it's already helping me
Hugs and best wishes to you, Paulinakk1.
Physical tools are holding an ice cube on your arm (or neck!), chewing strong flavored gums & mints (especially flavors you do not like!). These things engage your senses. All anxiety is "in the future" - anxiety consists of thoughts about the future - engaging your senses brings you back to reality - and the "here & now".
For mental tools its using word or number games - some thing that produces a "product". For numbers count backwards from a high number by 1's, 2's or 3's. Or add numbers together. Word games are creating names (mens or womens) for each letter of the alphabet.
Tools work best when practiced daily - even 5 minutes a day (both physical & mental tools) - so we can become familiar with them. When our anxiety goes up we gravitate towards things that are familiar to us - practicing the tools helps us better utilize them when needed.
In time, the tools will help you learn to manage your own thoughts. You will empower yourself against anxiety. And anxiety will become less often and less severe.
Keep your tool box handy - keep your tools (gums, mints, rubber bands, ice cubes (if possible), holding keys) all handy especially in situations that seem to trigger your anxiety.
By the way - phones do NOT count as a tool - its difficult to explain in a post - trust me on this one, I never met someone who successfully used a phone to create recovery. Depend on the other tools - I promise you they work!