I can understand the depth of your loneliness. Health issues that lead to psychological ills are not uncommon. Be grateful that you have the internet as a way to reach out beyond your bed. I do not know if I would have the courage to face what do and still remain involved. It goes without saying that I wish I could give you some of my strength to get you through the day. You are a survivor.

Thank you DjChurn!! You are the best!!! Thanks for reading me and for the cheers!

Damm nbp, I am sorry to read of your situation. The survivor comment is spot on. You would have to be to keep going. I am writing because I have anxiety from my constant pain but I am kind of hesitant to even bring it up to you as it pales in comparison. A construction platform I was on six months ago collapsed dropping me to the stony ground and pinning my dominant hand under. Complicated wrist fracture with elbow damage. I have lost range of motion but the nerve and tendon damage is the worst. Every move brings pain. Like you even writing is severe. Nights are terrible. I was a master builder but now I have to change course. In many ways I’m lucky as the pelvic fractures have mostly healed and the damaged knees are allowing me to walk fairly well now. Just can’t kneel on my left. That’s now but the first three months were unbearable. Well, I guess not because I got through it. Barely. So I feel for you. But the pain in my hand won’t let up and that combined with the sleep issues has challenged my mind. I am taking the straight route; no drugs or alcohol because I prefer to be clear headed. Plus nothing was doing anything anyway. I read a lot to try to keep my mind of it. Learning and trying to advance my mind Basically doing what I can to keep myself optimistic. And to keep the anxiety at bay. Good luck.

I can relate to your story in more ways than one and I just wanted to tell you that it's terrible what you're going through, but it's amazing that you've made it this far.

Thanks Simpson!! Healing hugs to you! And yeah, I totally get the greaving I think I’m more scared of acceptance though

F-A-N thanks for your words and for telling me your story! I’m so sorry that that happened to you and I don’t think any grief or anxiety could or should be compared since what happened TO YOU is the worst thing that happened TO YOU. Do I make sense?? Kkk sorry, what I wanna say is that it doesn’t matter if what happened to me is worse or not, your anxiety is a 100% valid and real and I feel for you!!! I hope the pain gets better. For me, the only thing that has worked for nerve pain is cannabis oil. Maybe it could help with the hand :) and don’t worry, it doesn’t get you high... hope you’re having a better night!

TieDyeBi I’m sorry you can relate, I wish you couldn’t, meaning you weren’t going through this sh*** but all my love to you! Best wishes!!

Thanks for the words of wisdom. You’re right in that we as individuals experience suffering in our own unique way. I need to remember that. Find common ground and learn to talk about the personal things is a more balanced way to relate to others. Thanks again and hang in there. Just not at the end of a rope. Sorry, I hope you can accept a little of my sometimes dark humor.

Hahahahaha love dark humor!!!! We’ll get through this!!

Hi again. I’m relieved that was ok. Figured you’d want to be in ‘normal’ conversations and not ‘protected’. In trying to understand the enigma (new favorite word) that is me I have been hinting to those around me to be honest with any thoughts and criticism. I am being honest with myself for the first time in forever so I need others to do the same. Seeing my doc on Friday to schedule nerve conduction tests. Last surgery was wrist, now we’re moving up the arm. (elbow). Don’t know if you’re familiar but they sent electric shocks through the nerves to pinpoint obstructions. Not pleasant but helpful to the surgeons. I hope you at least have some sort of view. You mentioned trips and lack thereof. A couple of weeks before my injuries I had climbed a few of the highest mountains in new hampshire. Beautiful! Been a hiker all my life so now I’m missing it. Hope to get my knees up to the task again but I may be forced to view them from afar. Reason I brought it up was that I subscribed to nat. geographic and become an ‘arm chair’ explorer. Helps a little and the photography is gorgeous. Not the same obviously. I am finding reading about the people in different places just, if not more, fascinating. I’m seeing that all my life I was kind of selfish by getting stuck in my own little world so opening up to others has been rewarding to say the least. Healing is a better word. I’m not going to ever let myself hide from my feelings. It’s a rotten way to live. Chatting on these sites has been nice when I am not up for going out. Been pretty lonely so I sympathize so much with you. I’m glad you’re reaching out. Ttys

You know FAN I think that’s a great idea! I used to love to bake so now I watch baking shows. Travel for me was not only my passion but also my job so that department has been a little sadder haha
I’m (sadly) far to familiar with conduction nerve studies, the needle part is the worst for me... but it’s a part of us now!!
I read alot, it helps me escape reality for a while and learn about new cultures!! Good luck with your tests!!
Oh and never ever forget chronic illness memes, they get me through the day hahahahaha pinterest got a whole new meaning hahahaha

Wow! What an amazingly strong person you are. My mom and I have had CFS, IBS, anxiety/depression, and tinnitus for over 7 years now, but I'm sure it's definitely not as bad as yours. All our symptoms are being caused by a chronic Enterovirus infection [Coxsackie B2 and B6 viruses]. Unfortunately, only a very few doctors are aware of chronic Enteroviral disease so most victims are never tested or correctly diagnosed. It's possible at least some of your illnesses might be Enteroviral. If you want more info, check out Enteroviruses .com and the Enterovirus Foundation. Gentle hugs to you

Thanks so much LouiseS! I’m so sorry to hear about you and your mom! It’s a good thing you got diagnosed! I will definitely check it out! Hugs and kisses to you and your mom!!

The needles on last test were fine because I have lost so much sensation in my hand. However this next round starts from my neck so ; ouch! I lived in the Maine maritime as a kid and got to sail. So that’s my fantasy travel. Would take a financial miracle though so I can settle for the National parks here. Would love to go abroad of course but my kids need support more than I need adventures. That’s just the way it is now. One fantasy I hope to make real is to tour the US on motorcycle with my wife if and when we can resolve our issues. I’ll take lots of pictures. In the meantime I am just getting through each day keeping as active as I can. Especially mentally as I’m sure you can relate. Being in a body that was a friend and now sometimes seems like the enemy is exhausting. Again you well know. Like you said; we’ll get through it. For me even if the pain never really goes away the experience has changed me in positive ways so I’m thankful for that. Gotten to know myself better with all the alone time. And I see now that it could have gone the other direction so, again, have to be thankful for that. Hang in there! Lol.

That motorcycle trip sounds amazing!! I’m sure you’ll make it!!! Let’s keep dreaming meanwhile hahaha
Needles in your neck, not so fun but hope it passes fast!!
Good luck my friend!!!