Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello there just seeking some advice .. Dealing with anxiety is nothing new for me , however recently it has really impacted my everyday life and I'm struggling with over coming it.
My two main stressors currently are work and relationships . Work is roller coaster filled with ups and downs good and bad days but I get that's every where and you work it's all in how you see things .
What my problem is dealing ( lack of dealing ) with relationships .
I panic . I distance myself and put up walls thinking it's what's best but really it's the opposite.
Does it get easier ??
Why is it so hard to express how I feel ?
Why is it hard to believe someone actually cares about me ?
Why I can't accept love as easily as I am willing to give it ?
Why do I care so much about what others think?
I started "talking " to someone I've known for few years and out of no where things started growing from just texting to late night talks . they say they understand the pace I want to take but then I can tell there not ok with it . Over the phone I'm 100% confortable but then in person I panic .. What if they don't like how I hug ? Or how I kiss ? Or how I hold a fork?! All these ridiculous what ifs fill my head and I can't enjoy the one thing I want which is to just be around this person. The one person I can't wait to see is the one person I can't be myself around . It's discouraging and I know it is hard on them as well . The signs I show are signs one would think I'm not interested but In fact it's just the opposite ! If only my actions reflected how I felt . I just want to be able to be myself .i just want to be happy.
I've been so caught up on worrying about what others think ... I've lost who i am. how do I find my way back to where the days were filled with laughter and the nights were spent looking at the stars
My two main stressors currently are work and relationships . Work is roller coaster filled with ups and downs good and bad days but I get that's every where and you work it's all in how you see things .
What my problem is dealing ( lack of dealing ) with relationships .
I panic . I distance myself and put up walls thinking it's what's best but really it's the opposite.
Does it get easier ??
Why is it so hard to express how I feel ?
Why is it hard to believe someone actually cares about me ?
Why I can't accept love as easily as I am willing to give it ?
Why do I care so much about what others think?
I started "talking " to someone I've known for few years and out of no where things started growing from just texting to late night talks . they say they understand the pace I want to take but then I can tell there not ok with it . Over the phone I'm 100% confortable but then in person I panic .. What if they don't like how I hug ? Or how I kiss ? Or how I hold a fork?! All these ridiculous what ifs fill my head and I can't enjoy the one thing I want which is to just be around this person. The one person I can't wait to see is the one person I can't be myself around . It's discouraging and I know it is hard on them as well . The signs I show are signs one would think I'm not interested but In fact it's just the opposite ! If only my actions reflected how I felt . I just want to be able to be myself .i just want to be happy.
I've been so caught up on worrying about what others think ... I've lost who i am. how do I find my way back to where the days were filled with laughter and the nights were spent looking at the stars
With regards to panicking in the presence of another person, life and rationships are a series of negotiations. Continue to work on your verbal communication. Words are very important! Be as specific as you can in the words you use to express what you like and what you don't like, about the person you're with, their behavior, the situation and the environment you're in. It'll help the other person really understand you, try to accomodate you, and hopefully be able to express themselves equally specifically so that you both can arrive at a deep understanding and be happy with each other.
Try to remain calm when you verbally express yourself. Try not to let negative emotions like fear, anger and/or hurt enter into yourcommunication. But DO be firm when expressing core beliefs, setting and enforcing boundaries.
Physical exercise is extremely important in terms of buding strength, confidence and remaining spiritually centered in the midst of stress. A strong body enforces a strong mind and spirit. I like to ride a bicycle to the gym, push weight for at least an hour, concentrating on the upper body, then stretch and chill with a relaxing yoga session after. There's a sense of strength, calm, warmth and inner peace from this that is beyond compare. When I do that at least twice a week, I can deal with ANY stress life has to deal out!
You just have to throw yourself off that cliff and be real, and if you smash at the bottom so be it, but you'll never fly if you won't throw yourself off the cliff.
Just do it.
:)
Koolman appreciate time you took to respond it really helped!
Bridgie101 same to you ! Appreciate the words of advice :)
They may get frustrated or annoyed sometimes, but this is natural! Keep talking to each other, let them have space to get used to your side, too, and be as honest as you can about how your feeling, even if it's scary. Best of luck and big hug!!
When I met my current boyfriend, something was different. He was a "take charge" kind of person and he was very confident. I think I needed that. Someone to push me to step out of my comfort zone. Things felt right with him and it was so easy to let my walls down. I met him two year ago, we live together and are so happy.
You need someone to take charge and knock down those walls. But you also have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. Even if that means taking baby steps. It'll be worth it, I promise. I used to be just like you. There is hope! :)
it does get easier I promise!!
I've struggled with anxiety and dealing with relationships from a young age, last year it was starting to effect my everyday life so significantly that I couldn't leave the house. After researching therapist for a long time I found The Blue Tree Clinic in central London. Having started my treatment there only 8 months ago my life has changed significantly and I can happily say it does get better!
While they're at it, they may want to do an MTHFR gene mutation test to determine which folate to give you if you're low. Again, this is not a test they do at your yearly physical.
Some doctors are not familiar with it, but it is becoming more mainstream with places like the Mayo Clinic routinely checking it when people come in with certain conditions.