Hi Reed31,

I can definitely relate. My anxiety returned very heavily within the past year, I am now going through a difficult phase where I prefer to stay home and struggle with leaving my comfort zone. Even tasks such as going to the grocery store require extreme mental preparation before I can begin my journey, I honestly hate the whole experience from beginning to end. I too will spend days at a time inside my house, without leaving even once and I begin to feel caged in and anxious that I need to get out.

Despite all this, I do try to push myself, but most importantly I've accepted that I need help, I need to learn coping skills for my anxiety, so I'm beginning CBT next week.

-Amethyst

I may be reading your post wrong, but it sounds to me like you are trying to use a exposure therapy to rid yourself of your anxiety when outside the house. If this is true then there is actually a specific way to do this that will help rid you of your anxiety.

First, you have to do the same activity over and over until you feel no anxiety in that situation or doing that activity. So if you feel anxious at the coffee shop then on a daily basis you would go to the coffee shop and sit there for a set amount of time. During the time you are there you will likely feel very anxious but it's important that you don't leave for the entire set time. The first time you do this your anxiety may last an hour. But the next time it may only last 58 minutes. If you do this one task on a daily basis eventually you will see your anxiety reduce to the point of non existence. It's once this happens that you will be able to enjoy going to the coffee shop.

If all you are doing is coping with your anxiety then you will not get to a point where you are happy doing things outside the house. And you deserve to have fun in life.

Take care

i can definitely relate. being home for me is my comfort zone. lately my anxiety has increased & going to work, school & social gatherings has become a bit more tough than it used to be. i recently have come to terms with my anxiety disorder and i'm really having a hard time coping with it.

the worst part is that i find that i have having anxiety attacks when i am in a relaxed situation (such as sitting at dinner with my boyfriend) when i least expect it. i think it's because of long periods of stress with school & other things that it has taken a toll on my body.

i hope to learn how to cope with this. it is all so new to me. :/

Thanks everyone - and thanks for the explanation of the exposure therapy.

I am grateful I can run to the grocery and do all my errands, take classes, etc. with relatively little anxiety. I think I wish I could go to a concert, go out to dinner, take road trips - and actually enjoy it instead of just enduring it.

I think you can see a shift over time in your attitudes about different situations if you work hard to change it. I started allergy shots twice a week a few months ago. I hated it. I had to get up early in the dark (this was winter), drive for half an hour (which stresses me out big time), then get two shots in a cold, institutional office.

One day, I sat down and completed a number of CBT thought records and used the "downward arrow" technique to get to the bottom of my feelings about it.

The result was amazing. I traced my anxiety back to getting the shots as a kid and getting into a car accident with my mom one time on the way to getting the shot. I also had severe asthma as a kid and was in the ER constantly getting stuck with needles. I realized there are a lot of lingering issues with my early childhood illnesses. It helped tremendously just to know all this.

I started thinking more balanced and positive thoughts when I went to get my shot. Before long, I realized I was actually enjoying it. Not the shot, but the "alone time" spent driving and then sitting in the waiting room reading or playing a game on my Kindle. It might be institutional, but it's quiet and away from daily stresses. It has become a familiar, somewhat enjoyable part of my routine. Plus, the shots are making a huge difference to my allergies!

I would never have believed it a months ago.

As far as defining victory... I think you have little victories every time you can get out the door and get your errands done without having an anxiety hangover for hours afterward. Total victory, for me, would mean freeing my mind completely of the distortions of negative thinking.

Thank you, Judy. I appreciate your insights.

Yeah I know the feeling I have been having anxiety mostly everytime I have to leave my house. It's the worst when I have to go out at night and usually at night i just stay in instead of going out of my comfort zone. It's been very hard to get out and try new things. I can totally relate to what your dealing with.

Thanks Kyle. I find I really need to push myself a little bit but not too much. Hard to find that balance sometimes and anxiety is SO unpleasant! Sometimes you just feel like you want a day off!