Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
This morning, I woke up at 3:30 in the morning seized with a horrible panic attack. It did not let up until about 7 a.m. I was writing yesterday that I was about 70% relapsed to my dark days of agoraphobia and debilitating panic attacks daily, this morning I was 100% back to where I once was-after an almost 10 year 90% recovery of being anxiety free. I was trembling, shaking, crying hysterically, and pacing my apartment. I thought about calling out but I truly couldn't, I work in surgery today and the other girl that could do it was off, I knew we were already short staffed, and on top of it my schedule was packed with surgeries and appointments. I struggled back and forth with knowing I couldn't do it but knowing I had no choice which made things even WORSE!
Not to mention-I have lives in my hands (I'm a veterinary technician)-how would I function if I was having a panic attack?!
It was a morning of 1st's in over 10 years:
1. I could've drive to work-I had to get a coworker to pick me up and drive me home. Also broke down as soon as I got in her car and she probably thinks I'm freaking CRAZY
2. Took my 1st xanax in over 11 years, it had been so long I was scared to take it bc I wasn't sure how it would affect me and I knew I had to be on top of my stuff in surgery and couldn't be drowsy or too tired. Only ended up taking 1/4 of a 0.5mg but it did help me a LOT
3. Just the fact that I had a full blown panic attack was the first in years, on top of that it lasted almost 4 hours!
Somehow once I got to work and started setting up for surgery and admitting my patients and got busy, my mind was occupied and I felt a lot better. I'm so good at what I do, and I LOVE what I do that I was feeling better, but then how does it make sense that I'm panicked I wont be able to do what I'm great at and have anxiety and panic attacks worrying about my day and that I wont be able to make it through?-I guess that's just the irrational though process of having an anxiety disorder
I made it through my 12 hour shift, no break, no lunch with flying colors. Now that I'm home and can relax-I'm anxious again, why?! It doesn't make sense.
I'm praying I can drive to work tomorrow. The fact of being a burden on someone and making them drive me is enough to send me into a panic as well....
I feel so weak and helpless, panic attacks are SO debilitating. They are literally the only thing I cannot handle in life...
I just want to be better, I feel weak but I know I’m strong.
Some people can do without Xanax so good for them. I am not so lucky. I admire you for doing what is necessary to function.
Your stress level is high with the job you have. You are in flight mode constantly and your body is dumping cortisol in your system and it gets depleted. Going without food is ruff on your system.I know all about waking up at 1am with anxiety/panic attacks.. I would shake uncontrollable. I thought I was getting 3-4 hrs of sleep when waking in a panic mode. I was only out for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Not enough time for REM. Body can not rebuild and repair. Get lack of sleep changes the wiring of the brain. I can see why Michael Jackson took propanfol. I was only getting 4 hrs of something at night. I definitely would not cause it sleep. When you wake up like that adrenaline is taken place of your depleted cortisol.
It has taken me a year to feel myself. Many ER visits, PCP, neurologist, and finally went to OB/GYN. I did a saliva test for checking cortisol 4-5 times during the duration of the day. Checked my progesterone. Cortisol was a train wreck and progesterone low. I had to halt with help with that. I had GI issues had to go to gastro dr. Found an issue which I had exploratory surgery. Removed part of colon. Dealt with anxiety before surgery and after. Took Xanax which helped for 2hrs then I would need .5mg every six hrs. It was not getting better. Checked myself into a mental hospital. Detox off Xanax. Had psychiatrist to prescribe two meds. Still did not feel 100% after that care. Contact my OB/GYN about that matter. She checked a gene, vitamin D, ferritin, thyroid. I have MTHFR can not metabolize man made folic acid which is in bread, flour, crackers,cereal, pasta, supplement drinks to name a few.The FDA has the crap in about anything we eat.
It will cause anxiety build up toxins in body. You can read about it on-line.
I have been off folic acid for a month and taken supplements and feel better. It is an balancing act. Hope this can help you. Definitely, do not want people to suffer like I have. It was horrible. Best Wishes.