Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

23,095 Members
43,240 Posts
2 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Anxiety Support Group

Debating....

pinkpumpkin143
pinkpumpkin143
Hi I am new to this group but not to the website. I suffer from depression and anxiety and today I am having it rough. I am looking to see if anyone can relate so I dont feel as alone in this situation.

I can feel my tears being held back as I write this. The last two saturdays I went out with mom to see a band that plays cover songs. It was good to go out but made me feel ALOT UNEASY too. I kinda felt alone at times while everyone is talking and laughing i just sit there and stare at my drink. I feel extremely unconfrontable and anxious going out. The first time I went out my mood was better and less people were with us. So i could atleast chat with my mom. The second time around more people came that she knew and i sat alone. behind everyone watching the band.

I know it helps to push urself but it makes me feel worse to feel alone and uncrontable when i go. so idk if i should push myself or what? I am really upset i cant just talk to people and not feel nervous.. that i just hold back from talking cuz of it. any thoughts would really really help
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've definitely been in your shoes. It kinda gives you that "alone in a crowded room" feeling. First off, does your mom know about your anxiety? She could and should be an ally in this situation, someone you can talk to while out to lift your spirits and reinforce your comfort zone. If she doesn't know and you don't feel comfortable telling her...I would just try and find the friendliest looking person and ask them questions about themselves, let them do the talking. It's easier said than done I know. Just try to keep your head up, make eye contact now and then and smile. That way even if you aren't doing any talking you seem open and friendly to a conversation vs. staring down at your drink (which I know feels safer).

Good luck and you are not alone :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had never thought of doing what this guy suggest do to help you overcome feelings of unease whe n you are out in a crowd.

I am going to give you the video address. It may help. It was at least thought provoking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1FefWtdtoE&context=C364c248ADOEgsToPDskL1NoGNZFL62DEaWDTf3w2-

He has you sit and watch the ocean with sea birds while in the background he plays all the noises you would hear if you were out dining.

I know he also has his hypnosis going on on top of it, but for me learning how to play something restful in my head while being in a crowd would help.

I am going to try this and make up my own music and videos with distracting noise in the background so I can get used to getting myself calm in those types of situations.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry......I can relate to you and you are NOT alone. Most people I know think I am very social & would be shocked to know about my anxiety & panic disorder. I have to do some social things with my husband for his job. But......I don't like being social that much and avoid it when I can. If it makes you so uncomfortable then don't go......not everyone is social and that is perfectly fine. I prefer to be at home with a few friends or go to dinner with my husband & a movie. A big party is not my thing.

Sounds like your comfort level may just be a few people. Say no to your mom & decide to see her when there is just her involved or a few people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
One of anxieties best little tricks is isolation. It has an amazing capacity to do this to isolate you from everyone else and shut you down emotionally so you cant relate to anyone or reach out to them for help. Its part of its mechanisms its how it works because if you are alone you cant get help and it has you right where it wants you. Thing is the only way you are going to break this cycle is by doing just that and reaching out to people and on here you have chosen the best medium for it. Make some freinds add some people and claim back your life.
Thing is right NO ONE who has not had this will understand, its the nature of it i am afraid. That doesnt mean everyone else is ignorant just ill advised is all. People on here all have been down the same road so will fully understand so on here you will find people that DO understand and will relate.
Exploit it, its what it is here for.