Nobody can accuse me of having been stable and functional throughout the entire 40 years I've spent with my husband, but I went through similar during our early "empty nest" years (early 21st century). Nothing seemed to be fitting together like the dream and I felt absolutely dwarfed in the shadows of my husband's accomplishments. His treating me like a broken appliance in need of his handyman skills only made me feel hopelessly broken there in the shadows of his accomplishments.

Dunno if our scenarios are similar enough to compare, but I know I needed to work through the yaddahs of those blahs on my own. All these years later I am grateful that my husband learned how to back off and get on with his own life while I worked through my transition on my own.

Making the change from homeowner to a rental home is a significant 'loss'. Most people do not realize how much until later on.

Not sure what will help.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out and wanting to help.

I think eventually it will become a “buyers” market again. Right now there is just not enough available houses to buy and prices are still high. It may not be the right time to buy something.

Anyway, we sold our home in 2019 because the market was super hot and it just felt like the right time. We didn’t know though if we wanted to buy again, and if we did, where, would we do a condo or house, etc. we also didn’t expect to have accepted an offer within 24 hours of listing the house. So we had to scramble a bit to get our act together. We lived in a hotel for a few weeks before renting an apartment. I have no idea how long we will stay in our apartment but I love it and do not miss my home for a second, even though it was a great old house in a great neighborhood. BUT, that whole process, from selling to figuring out where to go to settling in somewhere else is mentally and emotionally taxing even when it’s a positive thing. I was very emotional even though I was excited about the change. It took a couple of months to feel like myself, back on solid ground.

So you may need to just let her process and deal with whatever it is that is hitting her so hard, if it’s the loss, or not feeling comfortable, the insecurity.

Hi- I think your wife is still in the period of adjustment. Continue to be there for her. Listen to her when she is comfortable sharing her feelings with you. When me and my husband decided to settle permanently in our place, I was sad for a couple of days because I miss my family and friends. I’m thankful that my husband was there while I was crying.

Sometimes it took time for a person to adapt well in a new location. I hope your wife will feel better soon. God bless.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. You sound like a very caring husband. I can relate to what your wife is going through. It is hard to move and adjust to a new place. It is important for her to find friends and people she feels comfortable with. Are there activities she likes to do? Maybe you can look for places where she can connect with other ladies. For me finding a home church was very helpful in connecting with other ladies.

Also, seeing a doctor and going to a counselor might help if she doesn't seem to feel better after a couple of weeks. My depression was both chemical and situational. Our brain can get off balanced and it sometimes takes medication and counseling to help us get back on tract. Our mental activity can affect us physically. I had situational depression but with the right medication and counseling I went back to feeling good and stable.

Continue being there for her, letting her know how much you love her, support her, and encourage her. With time she will feel better. I will be keeping you and your wife in my prayers. Hugs and God Bless

Thanks for the comments and help.

How are things going? I have been praying for you. Hugs