Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My wife who has had severe anxiety and depression had 3 appts and fortunately made them all recently. Here are some things I see as a family member,
1. Do try to help. People with anxiety will exercise poor judgment and fail to help themselves. So you may need to help and just letting them drown may not be the solution.
2. Time If you decide to help you cannot rush through it. If you're at work and have emails, calls, and meetings but you want to address a problem, you will need to make a choice, either let it be or spend the time. Trying to move things along am pointing to your other commitments is not a good strategy, it may simply create more stress for her and let her to withdraw.
3. Start early Procrastination and deferral are typical, along with 2, realize you must start early. If there's a dinner at 8 and she feels self-conscious, your best scenario is spending an hour of persuasion and she spends an hour getting ready, which meets the debate must start real early.
4. Try not to raise your voice or get very angry. Its hard, say your friend is talking about her difficult financial situation, lack of a job, overdue credit card bills, and now she doesn't want to go to an interview. Your first instinct is to say what the F..are you fing crazy turning this down in your situation. But calmer minds should prevail and if you're going to make a point, it needs to be done calmly.
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It's going to get hotter here with Thursday being the hottest. It's noon and 75f feels more like 80 or more.I've been cleaning up the deck in this morning and cleaning the windows outside. Then I cut up a pallet in half, I've decided to call it quits now because I went a bit light headed. Joanne, some drugs we take have an effect on us in the heat, I know a couple of mine do, maybe yours...
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with my own hubby, i would put #4 in the number 1, 2, and 3 position. when he starts sticking metaphorical screwdrivers in my ears, my major anxiety becomes the inevitability of #4 where the love of my life uses harsh words and tones to let me know what an aberration i am for not responding properly to his noble expertise. after 42 years, i ought to know the proper responses by now, huh? the good news is that he's gotten much better about listening in place of trying to "fix" me. i haven't sold my out-of-state house yet, but i'm considering it.
but that is me and you are not **my** hubby. . .
gentle support while you find what works for you.
Glad you are able to help without overstepping in the 'fix it' mode.
You sound like a very caring husband. Anxiety can be VERY stressful, for those of us that have it and our dear family members who try their best to navigate our moods.
I feel lucky to have him......some of the time. lol
To Arfie, when your husband gets upset, can you say, I know you're upset, lets go over what's happening, my feelings and try to address this in a reasonable way. Note, you cannot tell him not to be angry or invalidate his feelings, you can just tell him to express it in a constructive way.
Things vary. I have a family member who has strong political views, and on long trips, I call her, we yell and argue, and the trip feels shorter. On the other hand, when family gets together for Thanksgiving, using precious time with family members you see once a year, to discuss politics when no one convinces anyone else is a horrible waste of time, and as soon as that start, I leave the room or switch topics.
For men, being asked about problems, giving advice, and accomplished nothing can be frustrating. This same family member above asked me for advice when I first got married. I spoke with her for about an hour, she seemed grateful said she appreciate my insight, but then I realized she did what she wanted anyway, and usually ask 5 or 10 people for advice. So now I say, sorry can't help you, nothing to add.