my pros have not seemed able to agree on a name for ^it^, but i have dubbed ^it^, "control freakitis." my need to be in control is epic. i'm the very authority which commanded the earth to rotate around the sun, aren't i? if i like you, i might allow you to kneel and kiss my ring. alas, my control freakitis has proven quite therapy resistant. my progress has come in awareness of when i am in episode and managing the symptoms in place of trying to control things that are quite beyond my control. how dare you not WANT to kneel and kiss my ring! ! !

this morning finds me on the first wake-up in the second leg of the family vacay. the players in the vacay are three young children, one disabled adult and three functional adults. a power struggle errupted between the three functional adults as we prepared to leave the house where we spent the first leg of the vacay. details unimportant for this contemplation. i believe the dynamics of power struggles are similar, whether the heads of state are commanding armies, dogs or young children.

i started plying detachment tools with the first flare-up. you want control, you got it, loved one. i'm just along for the ride. i slept in the van last night and let the other two adults handle the settling the children into the new sleeping arrangement. i was braced for utter chaos when i tiptoed through the house to the bathroom this morning. i was met with contented sleep sounds in what appeared to be reasonably organized conditions. the sleepers awoke without incident and are currently walking to breakfast beneath the golden arches. enjoy, my loves. i need a shower and a change of clothes.

dunno what i am reaching for here. maybe validation for my current notion that sometimes letting go is the best form of control available?