Hello Unnamed_Person. Welcome to DS.

My strongest advice to you is to keep right on sorting and venting, as you did in this very post. Those lines between minding your own business and minding your own feelings are never as clear or simple as it seems like they ought to be. Whether or not *you* like *your father's* job is pretty irrelevant to his needing to do what needs to be done in *his* work day, but honesty on both sides is vital to the bond between you.

Sigh. . . Why can't life be simple?

Venting and sorting my personal feelings helps me get my thoughts in order before I approach a sensitive conversation. Hope you will feel safe to keep on venting and sorting right here. Vent freely, sort often.

Welcome aboard.

Stick to and stand up for your beliefs, morals, and values. It is a sticky situation you are in, especially when family is involved, but listen to your heart it knows what to do

Thank you so much for the answer. You’re right, I don’t want to get in the way of my dad trying to do his job. But I guess it’s just to process everything that’s going on. Thanks again for the warm welcome!

Ncoover I wish it was that easy to stand up for myself

It isn't easy. I am so not saying that. If it was, we all would do it all the time :) There are plenty of things I do not see eye to eye on with my parents and it can hold us back so much on being true to ourselves. I can't stand so much my dad posts on fb and sometimes want to say things so badly, but typically keep my mouth shut. It is a constant battle for me. If you can, talk to your dad about it honestly. Tell him how you feel.

Your profile says you are 15. Your Dad needs to work to support you, and the rest of your family. It's great that you have opinions and beliefs, but I would give it some time before saying anything negative to your Dad. If it was me, I would never say anything to my Dad, but that is just me. Think about what good, or not good, would happen if you tell him you think his current project is so horrifying? You said yourself he will still do this job.

Pretty soon, he will move on to another job. Trust that he knows what he is doing with this one.

In the grand scheme of things, I know my dad is doing this as a job and not because of his political views. I probably won’t say anything about how I dislike the job (though I’m pretty sure he has a hunch), but I do know that if I were him, I would not have wanted to do what he’s doing. Thank you all for your help :)

If you add up all of the possibly politically, socially, emotionally complicated places to work...you'll have pretty much the whole country.

From working for drug companies, gun makers, prisons, defense contractors, the military, police, sports, religion....paper or plastic...is working as a cashier safe these days?...and I'm not kidding about that one (microplastics in oceans).


If you step back...the wall...is probably one of the least offensive. Yes it's a hot button politically, but walls...don't kill anyone. I'm not a fan because I believe that it's a huge waste of money...but...walls don't kill anyone.


I think that it's fine to tell him that you think that he's wrong.

But...your father's actions...for or against...have nothing to do with if a wall is actually built. That's democracy. We vote in and vote out our politicians.

Is your dad's job building a wall really that much different than my kids bagging groceries in plastics? Something to think about....

patti22 interesting perspective but I feel obliged to inform you my dad is not building the wall. It’s a building of sorts, in the city

Unless you are SURE Dad is breaking the law, ... mind your own business.

@Vet...why?

I encourage my kids to talk to me, especially about the complicated issues in life. We don't always agree, and that's okay. Their father recently took a job for a defense contractor...this sort of subject has come up. Currently both kids are thinking of becoming engineers...they're going to face these choices/issues in their own lives. (Kids 17 and 19 years old.)

@Unnamed...well buildings don't kill people either.

Golf courses...well not going there (this is a joke...a joke) But they have their issues too (environmental, water, etc, etc.)

Policy and change though...are made on a govenment level. Even at 15, you can write your congressmen (don't mention your father's name...) and state an opinion. They WILL write back. Don't expect one letter to make a change, but the sum total of letters they get...do have an impact.

https://www.altaread.org/letter-representative.asp


Last, I'm just going to say...it's worth reading what the people on the "opposite" side think...on ANY issue. Everyone has a voice...and usually a good reason for holding their opinion. Most often things aren't right-wrong, but rather choosing between two semi-right and semi-wrong positions.

patti22 even if you encourage your kids to talk to you about political issues and other problems, but not everyone has that relationship with their parents. My dad tends to think that ignorance is bliss, and does everything he can to avoid talking about politics with my family. Saying to him that I don’t agree what he’s helping build wouldn’t go too well, since in his eyes it’s a “taboo topic”. Not to say it isn’t, but imo change would come about a lot faster if people stopped ignoring issues.

True enough.

Only YOU know what is the best to do in your own particular situation.

You said it perfectly "change would come a lot faster if people stopped ignoring issues.
This may be a great chance for you to say something, even as simple as telling your dad it kind of makes you feel uncomfortable. Doesn't have to be in a blaming manner, just "hey dad can we talk about this? It kind of makes me a little uncomfortable and confused." It might open up a door for conversation and strengthen the relationship to be able to talk about hard topics.

I am closing this post.