Hi, this probably off topic, but I'll just say I'm a Lutheran who had doubts about his faith years ago. I had to dig into it and became a much learned person after that. You're not alone in being someone who has questions. I do think that a lot of it does have to do with the cultural settings at that time - slavery for instance being much more prevalent in ancient times and even different than what we consider today as "slavery." Unfortunately doubts about religious beliefs cause anxiety and I've lost a few nights sleep over it. Don't feel like you are alone at least in this.

Thanks Jeff. I've always had a very strong faith in God and I've loved the churches I've been involved in but the bible just bugs the hell out of me!

Chuckle - Yesssss. I have been having issues since all of my symptoms started this year. Or actually it is more like when the depression lifted and I could feel again. Hence - my newfound issues with death.

I was raised by a Baptist Minister. He doesn't have a church, just the degrees. My mother never wanted to be a preacher's wife and he respected her wishes. Anytime I have issues with the bible my father is fairly good at answering them. The treatment of women in the bible is not focused on to much extent because that area of the world and the views of women were and still are different.

I like to look at it as how God could still love all of these sinful sometimes horrible men even after some of the terrible stuff in the bible. My dad said that was the main thing to take from it - God's never ending, all encompassing love, not the sinful nature of man.

I think my deal was that I have been questioning whether any of it is real at all, or just something that was made up to make people feel better about the end of life. Namely whether Jesus was real. I have no issue at all believing that there is a god. And I hope and want to believe in my heart that it is real, but my brain keeps getting in the way.

I do have an issue with the thought of people who are not perfect, but are by no means bad (by our standards) going to hell. I guess that if you believe you have lost nothing, but if you don't you may. So I am really trying to get my head back around my faith. I can't tell if it is just my chemicals or something that has been around in my head that I had been suppressing. But anytime that I start reading a Christian based book (mainly about marriage since that is the issue that I am struggling with most with my religion) I start to have heat in my cheeks and chest and keep wanting to push it away. So yes... struggling with religion lol.

Thank you Crispy - I can always count on your helpful response and I truly appreciate that. : )

In the past when I heard these stories that made me so angry I would wind up having anxiety. Now I just feel angry. I think that's progress!

I believe that Jesus lived - and Buddha - and that there are more recent great teachers as well. Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Malala, Gandhi and others have so much to teach us.

I think I'm trying to sort out how much that culture of sexism still impacts our faith. I like what Jeff said about the slavery in the bible as well. Obviously, we regard that as something abhorrent. I hope we feel the same about the way women were treated.

I see churches still forbidding women from serving as ministers or not allowing them to attend services, etc. and it concerns me.

There's a guy I've had much contact with in the past who might be able to point you in the direction of some answers to some of your questions. At least give him a shot. His apologetic site is http://www.tektonics.org/
and his email address jphold@att.net
At least give him a shot. If you email him, just mention I recommended him. He knows me. good luck

Thanks, Jeff. I'll look him up!

I actually attended a church once that still didn't allow women to be as active as the men. My sister and I (we were raised to be opinionated) were told to shut our mouths at a business meeting and let our husbands do the speaking. : ) After laughing my but off for a moment, my husband actually backed me up saying that my opinion was as good as his and since I was the one that had been researching the content for that particular meeting that he wanted to know what I thought. We had more run ins with that church before my entire family just kind of moved on. SO I do know that there are churches that believe the women are 2nd to the men.

Luckily there are a ton of them that no longer hold such rigid outdated beliefs. My current preacher has even remarked on the status of women a few times in service as being a cultural thing. He claims to be a team with his wife, which is nice. They kind of lead together.

Hey that is progress! But it can be infuriating.

Crispy - that's what concerns me - is that those biblical principles can form the basis for sexism as well as some other unacceptable behaviors. And frankly, I don't believe that God would sanction violence - or sexism. I feel Mary Magdelene likely played a much bigger role than she's given credit for.

Good for you for speaking up! And how wonderful that your husband backed you up. I think sometimes in these systems that won't hear women it takes men who are feminists to open the door.

I agree with you completely.
I actually was reading not too long ago and I can't remember the theologians name, but he stated that he didn't believe some people should do personal bible study without some kind of guide. There are so many things in the bible that can be taken out of context or embellished to make some very warped beliefs. He stated that was how cults get started.
I know that at the moment, I do not do the personal bible readings because my brain (in high anxiety mode) began twisting what I was reading. I was taking things very literally that I know are not literal. So I stepped away until I can get to a place where I can go through it with clarity. I have read the whole book years ago, and I do not think God would condone a lot of things that go on in churches today. I just have to believe that MOST people are there with good intentions in their hearts, and are just human who have misinterpreted something or had been taught something that was ... well, warped.
And there have been numerous studies on Mary Mag : ) that would agree with you about her.

just my last input here on this, but I found it's helpful to do a lot of research to understand many things in the Bible as the cultural settings were way different back then. Some of the passages or norms don't make sense to us unless we understand them in context of the way that world was at that time. Even the way Genesis 1 is heavily dependent on how things were written down at that time (on clay tablets) and hence knowing stuff about that time reveals more about the way things are worded than just us reading it now.

I think you're right, Jeff. I do need to do more research. I've taken a number of theology classes which I very much enjoyed. I need to do one specifically on the bible.

This is a great post! I'm glad I came across it. I've always had trouble with certain things mentioned in the Bible but I've also made peace with it. I don't take the Bible literally - even the parts in there I do find amazing and beautiful.

I have my own personal relationship with God, and I'm very spiritual.

I'm Orthodox Christian - so if people ask me - this is what I would declare; but no I'm not a "by the book" Christian - why? I'm not anti-gay, I'm not anti-abortion I'm pro-choice, and although I'm not married and never been - yes I would get a divorce if I felt that's something I had to do.

For those who are Christian (as I myself am one) - a real Christian / a good Christian - wouldn't judge and hate others. Jesus taught love and not hate. A Christian - instead of judging and condemning others - should instead [try and] live by example.

GrayTurtle - Amen! : )

I grappled with religion until I left the church and stopped reading the Bible. Since then my anxiety is at an all time low. I feel better, sleep better, I'm healthier, and my marriage has gotten better.

I'm still anxious but I can cope with the symptoms because I stopped exposing myself to a book that describes a loving "fatherly" God who is going to send me to Hell.

I'm also extremely bothered by Christians who need a book to tell them it is wrong to kill. What kind of sociopathic, murderous, angry, violent emotions do these people have that they don't just "know" murder is wrong. Seriously? If I needed a written moral code to know I should not commit crimes and I needed to review it regularly so I wouldn't lose control, I'd be deemed mentally incompetent and given treatment to determine if I knew right from wrong or if I was having a psychotic break.

Oh my gosh, Alan! I love it! Yes! I have a friend who told me that we need religion in order to be moral. My argument is that you just need to be human. I don't need God or anyone else to tell me what's right or wrong. That's what my moral compass is for!