Listen and look how you are playing this out like a movie in your head. There is not one speck of positive in anything you've said, not one. This is the cycle of negative thought process that precipitates anticipatory and free floating anxiety. Turn it around. Your are so glad to be seeing him. The car ride is uncomfortable, but it will be only one hour, we can stop for a bit if I need to. I can bring something along like music, a book or magazine, a crossword, a snack, water to distract myself and make the ride easier. Lose the guilt. It serves absolutely no purpose here, because you are shaming yourself for no reason. If the car is going to packed see if you can go with only one person to ease your anxiety. take it one step at a time and before you know it, you will be there seeing him. :)
Take care.

I complete agree with luvetheblues. Be positive, bring some distractions. I too am not crazy about driving or long car rides but it's part of life. We cannot allow ourselves to be prisoners to this anxiety. I just came back from a trip that was over six hours - each way. We stayed over night so it broke it up. I brought gum (always helps me) plenty of water, my pillow, and snacks. I get so worked up before hand but the trip was fine...good even. Just do it. The worst thing that can happen is your uncomfortable but you'll be glad you did it for your father. You can do this! Best wishes!

You know, my sister just finished her last chemo treatment a few weeks ago.

I remember when she was undergoing emergency surgery and they called me over the phone (it was a night surgery) to let me know that they found cancer.

I told them they I needed to leave for a little while and that I was afraid to see her. The nurse listened to me for a few minutes and told me that I really needed to be there when she woke up from surgery.

I told the nurse that I guess I just needed to "Buck Up" and do this thing. She told me "Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that, but yeah."

I drove around for about 40 minutes to clear my head and I showed up at my sister's hospital room before she got there. I was so glad that I did that.

Lucky me, she thought she had only had her gall bladder out. I let her sleep for a few hours and then told her what they had found.

The doc when he came in the next morning thought he was going to have to break the news to her knowing how much anxiety I was showing over her situation. He was never so happy that I had come through for her and they were able to have a nice talk.

Come through for your dad. Once you get there you will be suprised at how much your anxiety will dissipate.

So it sounds like your dad does have lymphatic cancer. Go hug him, I know you want to. My boss had that kind and he has been cancer free for over a decade now.