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Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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can't canter

arfie
arfie

one of the ponies on my not-so-merry-go-round is, "the can't canter." this pony sure can rock as it goes up and down over all the things i can't do in life. up on the days my can't list gets me out of unpleasant activities. down on the days my can't list is blocking my growth potentials. back and forth. up and down. round and round.


this morning finds me wondering if can't = donwanna. on the days where my can't list is blocking growth potentials, it seems like i can scratch the surface and find a lack of desire to carry through. it's one thing to dream about living in sichuan. the realities of travel and culture crossings are a bit more tedious.


methinks the math on the days my can't list gets me out of unpleasant duties is far simpler. i donwanna do that parent teacher conference. think i'll just call in crazy.


I.F. i am making sense here, methinks the difference between "can't" and "donwanna" is in the reframing. when i sincerely can't, bring out the pity pot. nothing left to do but sit and feel sorry for myself and maybe beg some pity from the world around me. when i sincerely don't want to, i still have the right to say no. asserting my right to say no empowers more than pities.


am i making sense?

AdelynRene
AdelynRene
This makes a lot of sense to me. And hits close to home.
carlyj1202
carlyj1202
No.
arfie
arfie
thank you, adelyn and carly. reality checks appreciated. 50-50 split is not terribly unusual for the reality checks on my crazy town theories.

still chewing. . .
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
I think it makes sense too.Although the can't and don't wanna both have the same outcome and it's been my experience both aggravate therapists to no end... CAN'T is us saying is beyond our capabilities so is kind of the weak,, pity party.. DON'T WANNA is us simply being stubborn (or scared) so others write it off and try to understand.
arfie
arfie
good point, queen. donwanna can, indeed, be a childish stubborn streak. over the course of my own recovery, i have gained both the aggravated responses and the "go girl" responses. i believe the difference is in whether i am resisting or stating a simple preference. when i donwanna work on my recovery for whatever reason, i am resisting. when i donwanna go to do your dirty work and the answer is, "no," i am asserting my rights. when i donwanna pay my bills and do it, anyway, i am doing what i gotta do with open honesty.

maybe? ? ?

for sure, thank you for the tasty add-on.
still chewing. . .
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