Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My wife has been fighting cancer for 10 years. She has gone through many treatments and numerous surgeries. Just recently, we learned her cancer is back. We are both devestated. I walk around in a depressive haze having a hard time concentrating. I can't describe how bad I feel when my wife shows fear and sadness.
I would normally talk about my wife's illness with my older brother, but he passed away from cancer in June.
Over the past 30 years, I have been on meds for depression and anxiety so I'm in really bad shape. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated. I'm writing to distract myself as best I can. Thanks.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
The important thing about writing it out is that it helps you to balance in the moment.
You need to express your feelings in a safe way, experience the grief of loss, and know that what you are feeling is normal when sudden news of epic size reaches into your heart and brings fear of the unknown to the front and center of your well-being.
So, you have been on meds for depression and anxiety for a long time. Have you built your toolkit of natural tools to help you remain calm when the situation requires one person to be thinking calmly and clearly?
As a care giver, you provide support and guidance for your wife as she expresses her feelings of fear and sadness. That is a gift you both share.
I would plan a short trip of special moments for the two of you now, while she is able to. This type of distraction allows you to consider those happy moments and share them in a way that will give your wife hope when she's feeling the fear and sadness.
This is just an opinion of mine and I'm just trying to help you. Maybe can find some pictures, videos, anything to remind you and your wife of the great times that you both had have together.
Also, music has been known to unlock good memories too.
When you are depressed it hard to look for the good, but it might also be the thing top pull you up and she'd a light of optimism.
I wish you and your wife the best! Peace, love, hugs, happiness, and blessings to you both!
In order to be a good caregiver you want to ensure you take care of yourself.
When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs you to “put your oxygen mask on first,” before helping others. ... Because if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can't help anyone else with their oxygen mask.
Get enough sleep, eat right, get fresh air. Go to your primary care physician or psychiatrist to inform them of the stressful situation exacerbating your mental health. A change in medication management may be in order.
With the current pandemic still festering I dont know comfort level with other human contact. Things to do at home: Try essential oils, aromatherapy, massages, foot rubs, bubble baths, cooking favorite meal, baking together, watching the sunset, moon and stars, slowdancing, flowers, taking pictures/selfies. Make recordings of you two together. Make wonderful beautiful memories. Laugh together.
Yesterday, I met with my psychiatrist and she adjusted my meds. She also said I was probably suffering from anticipatory grief even though my wife is feeling good and looks good.
The items you listed in the last paragraph are also good suggestions. Thanks for your thoughtfulness during this tough time for me.
Thank you for such an encouraging note. It helped a lot this morning.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about 30 years and have been on meds for almost as long. To help with this recent pain, I'm meeting with her more frequently and she increased my medications. I've come to realize that I will never be free of depression and anxiety. Rather, when it gets really bad, I have seek more help.
@catch_the_music,
Thanks for you suggestions. We never watch the TV news probably for the reasons you suggest we avoid it. Would you mind letting me know the bible verses you find helpful? Thank you.
We were fighting with the hospital to obtain an appointment for my wife. We are very nice folks and try to treat people as such, but the schedulers were mean and dismissive. They almost seemed liked they enjoyed making cancer patients feel worse than we already do. I know the health care system is under lots of stress, but cancer patients are exceptionally stressed.
I'm really having a hard time coping. I'm trying my best, but it has never been this hard.