Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I'll try and make this short....
Victim of violent crime..... my abusers are teachers and doctors..... police took the side of my abusers when I finally found the strenth to report these scum bags. I get no justice, and my abusers can carry on abusing.... sadly others who get attacked/sexually abused tend to bottle it up..... they think its not worth the hassle which I understand as the police are arrogant and don't want to do their jobs properly. Even my mother got assaulted by a doctor and chose to say nothing. She said "well I'll never go back to that doctor, its over now, can't change the past" but what about other people who might get targeted for being attacked? Surely these abusers should be stopped! I don't get it, because it destroys peoples' well being and lives.
I've had therapy and learned lots about the minds of these predators and quite simply, they are poison, no going back once they've abused victim number 1. They have no soul, and they'll rot.
My problem at present: my family's reaction.... my parents have yelled awful things at me that have diminished my relationship with them, when all I've done is tell them about the abuse. Okay, I bottled up two crimes for years as I was a minor when they happened and couldn't find the right words, lost confidence etc. But eventually I found the strength to speak up. My parents seemed to have attached their own feelings when listening to me, so they stop themselves from properly understanding my perspective. I've had, "You've dis-owned us!" and "We are carrying the burden of all this abuse you've had" (as if I'm carrying nothing?!!) "You're a bag of shit" (okay, yes, I looked awful but I'm traumatised so I won't look great will I?) "You can't expect us to listen to you with the same credability" (because it took years for me to find the confidence to tell them about a male doctor sexually abusing me) "If he abused you, then why did you go back?!" (I was a kid and didn't want to believe this predator abused me, plus it was incredibly confusing as I was very young and went to him for help/treatment).....
I'm autistic, recently diagnosed, and clearly predators sensed I was ideal target all those years ago.
Being autistic, my mind can't dismiss anything really. I still have all this awful stuff my parents have said swimming in my head. Do any of you have any ideas/techniques I can try that will help turn my mind away from the flashbacks of what my parents have yelled at me? It all still torments me and they should never have behaved this way towards me.... they say they can't remember.... I have short episodes where I feel angry at them..... sometimes I think it was a big mistake telling my family about all this abuse....... because what my parents have yelled at me/how they reacted has worsened my mental health..... they have abused me verbally and emotionally.....
An hour ago I had floods of tears..... any help would be much appreciated
Thanks
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Fast forward a decade or three and you find me wondering if it is mere coincidence the justice centers and healing centers are seldom even in the same section of any city. These days I no longer look for healing and justice in the same offices. I no longer even hope them in the same wish list.
Guess I am rambling, butttttaaaa. . .
Should I send healing hopes or outraged cries for justice?
Guess I'll settle for supportive platitudes of sorrow. Sorry for your pain. Hope you find what you are looking for.
For what it's worth:
I believe healing is an inside job. It is up to me. Others can *only* be supportive of my efforts. Support counts for allot but the healing is up to me.
I had EMDR a few years ago but the therapist was very superficial.