Welcome to the anxiety board at DS. You are writing it out which is a huge step in sorting out feelings.

You may not have it both ways. Your preferred name is the one they use, it's the correct one once it's been recognized as the correct one.

Sad, because all you need to do is add the aka name.

You made this choice, and this is one of those unintended consequences of the choice.

You have the right to ask for the change, and to accept the responsibility for the choice you made.

You are facing the natural consequences (unintended) for a choice you made to the original change. That was a chance you took, thinking you could control when, where, how, what, who, and why the change would be effective.

Stand up proud, shoulders straight, confidence showing, and move on.

Your grandparents, whatever their words, whatever their reaction, is not your problem. They have a right to feel their way, just as you have a right to feel your way.

Feelings do not determine a publishing decision.

Best wishes as you find your way to a better balance. Do even breathing. You will be stronger for this experience.

Classroom breakdowns are far from "Normal," but I don't know anybody who hasn't had at least one in their academic career, including the teachers and staff. Easy does it while you get back on that proverbial pony and ride.

As for your grandparents discovering you new name, wouldn't that be a good thing, especially if they do not approve? You'll have to break it to them sooner or later. This could be the easier way to go about it.

However that resolves. . .

Steadying support while you ride out the aftermath. The aftermaths of my own classroom/work meltdowns have always been meaner in my head than they were in reality.

Breathing with you. . . You are not alone.

I had breakdowns in college in front of a few professors. One of them cared and that just showed me people can feel weird about other people having emotions, and that’s not your problem or fault. You didn’t know that would happen and I think it was a trigger for you. I’m triggered by things similar too. I think it’s normal because we’re human. It’s easy to feel weird after but it’s going to be okay <3 you are very brave

its very normal , i had two in a row the past two days, i was crying or trying not to cry and i felt crappy about having social anxiety and i felt angry at the people in my class, even the ones i dont talk to, for not noticing what i was going through, i was also very angry at my teacher,i expected everyone, even strangers to read my emotions and mind, but today i realizd thats not a strangers job to fulfill my emotions, its my parents who never did, i knwo you had a breakdown for a different reason, :)))

You must be in high school which tells me you are young. Yes, it is normal to breakdown and cry in school. It sounds like you are just experiencing doubts about your new name and how it will affect you in light of your family becoming aware. Every decision we make has consequences. Don’t expect your family to support your decision, they may have different views and values than you, which is as much their right as it was yours to “ change your name”. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, choices, and beliefs. Including your grandparents.