Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I posted this on the breakup/divorce support group but no luck. Any advice will be appreciated
A few days ago, my ex girlfriend broke up with me. We had a 7 year relationship that had many ups and downs. About a year ago, we decided to take a few weeks apart. It was a good time to reflect on each of our future goals in life. We then got back together but it wasn't official. We would act like a couple. Hold hands, tell each other we loved one another and so forth. I didn't mind that we didnt have an official tittle because we both thought that it was overrated. About a month and a half ago, she joined a study abroad program at her college. She left for a month to Madrid. Before she left, I sat down to talk to her about my fears about her going over there. I fear that she will meet someone new over there, i fear that she is going to hook up with another guy and ruin what we have going, i fear that she will come back a different person and not want to be with me anymore. After I told her this, she broke down and basically said that she needs time for herself. That I have nothing to worry about but right now, it's not the best time to be together. I told her that I understood even though it killed me inside. A day or two before she left, we went out and we were still holding hands and I kissed her and expressed how much I would miss her. She was very sad and told me she was going to think about me every day. Now that she is over there, I tried Face timing her and messaging her and we have had short conversations over facetime. She told me she went to a club with a few girls that she became friends with in her group and I automatically freaked out. On instagram, she keeps getting tagged in pictures and I immediately start panicking and I honestly haven't gotten any sleep. I don't know what to do. I don't want to express how I feel, I want to give her her space It's just so freaking hard.
A few days ago, my ex girlfriend broke up with me. We had a 7 year relationship that had many ups and downs. About a year ago, we decided to take a few weeks apart. It was a good time to reflect on each of our future goals in life. We then got back together but it wasn't official. We would act like a couple. Hold hands, tell each other we loved one another and so forth. I didn't mind that we didnt have an official tittle because we both thought that it was overrated. About a month and a half ago, she joined a study abroad program at her college. She left for a month to Madrid. Before she left, I sat down to talk to her about my fears about her going over there. I fear that she will meet someone new over there, i fear that she is going to hook up with another guy and ruin what we have going, i fear that she will come back a different person and not want to be with me anymore. After I told her this, she broke down and basically said that she needs time for herself. That I have nothing to worry about but right now, it's not the best time to be together. I told her that I understood even though it killed me inside. A day or two before she left, we went out and we were still holding hands and I kissed her and expressed how much I would miss her. She was very sad and told me she was going to think about me every day. Now that she is over there, I tried Face timing her and messaging her and we have had short conversations over facetime. She told me she went to a club with a few girls that she became friends with in her group and I automatically freaked out. On instagram, she keeps getting tagged in pictures and I immediately start panicking and I honestly haven't gotten any sleep. I don't know what to do. I don't want to express how I feel, I want to give her her space It's just so freaking hard.
deleted_user
You and her sound very young.....I can say that you need to relax and have some fun with your friends here...let her have some fun too. If its 2B then its 2B. no amount of anxiety or emotional breakdown is going to help...as a matter of fact it may drive you apart..
JudyFZ
I agree. The more you pressure her, the more likely you are to push her away. Let her be and don't ruin this wonderful opportunity for her by playing the controlling boyfriend. I know it's hard, but if this doesn't work out, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Enjoy your young, single life while you can! Trust someone who's been around the block a couple of times.
deleted_user
Yes, I agree with Judy- I was in the same boat as you a few years ago and definitely helped drive my now ex away with my obsessing and relationship anxiety. I would suggest reading up on Relationship Anxiety...i realize now that's what it was...my fears seemed SO real and legitimate- I would cry myself to sleep, worry about what he was thinking and feeling and why he was doing what he was doing and why he chose to go certain places, worried he didn't love me, and on and on and on. But now I see that it was anxiety. Too late...I wish I knew then what I know now- I think I would have given him the space he needed. I don't know if it would have turned out any differently in the end (maybe it just wasn't meant to be like roflo said), but at least I wouldn't have worried myself sick and been miserable for no reason in the mean time.
Jeff-Gonzalez
Thanks so much for all your responses. I guess the best way to pass the time is to keep myself busy. I know she is having an amazing time. For this month, I have decided to join a running group here in Downtown Los Angeles. They meet every Tuesday and Thursday. I know that will help ease my anxiety. I also have a friend who is involved in a church and he told me to come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. From what I know, there are great people in both the church and the running group. It just sucks that when the thought of her creeps up I feel this empty void in my heart. I will get through this. One day at a time.
Sadwhale
Very will said, one day at a time. Keeping busy is a great distraction and I have found helping other people with volunteering or in your church group will help dramatically and you will make new friends. Sitting in wallow does nothing but there will be a wide range of emotions that will be like "roller coaster" its best to accept them just as emotion and that "this too shall pass"
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