I have general anxiety and intense social anxiety. The xanax doesn't even help much anymore. This post concerns my workplace, where until recently I felt pretty comfortable.
I have been at the same job for about 4 years. 2 years ago, a new employee "Karen" started with whom I felt I had a pleasant rapport. We shared interests, understood the same cultural references, sense of humor, generally enjoyed one anothers' company. Since we started working together, some other new employees have started in our same department. She struck up friendships with several of these, becoming socially involved with them outside of work. What's puzzling to me is that she (Karen) and I seemed to get along just as well with one another as she did with the new employees. The only difference is that whenever I suggested we meet outside work, she has gently brushed me off or acted very ambivalent and vague about it. A year has past and she has since become very closely bonded with our other coworkers, has invited them to her wedding even. I was not invited, nor was I expecting to be, but it feels more personal since I found out her other workplace friends will all be attending her wedding as well as being generally involved in her life.
I am dying to find out what it is about me that she feels the need to keep me at arm's length. Again, we seem to get along just as well as she does with our other coworkers. I wish I knew why she has chosen to exclude me. It's gradually become very painful. I feel stupid for apparently overestimating how much she likes me. I don't feel like I can come out and ask her the reason, because it seems pathetic and desperate of me, and she's unlikely to tell me the real reason if she thinks it will hurt my feelings so I can't count on her to be completely honest. I also feel in fairness she doesn't really owe me an explanation; her thoughts about me are private. As they say "It's none of my business what other people think of me"
Does this situation sound familiar to anyone else? How do you cope with it? Any insights?
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