Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
the mother's family takes the children for all the major holidays. i'm okay with that. our christmas is done and i have been gifted with some free time to work on my own strictly personals.
alas, i also have to spend a week alone with hubby and that is painfully far from working on my own strictly personals. hubby claims to be supportive of my having a life of my own, but he gets mighty vague on the particulars of being supportive. maybe we really are from different planets and managing offspring is our only common ground. playing the matrimonial stereotypes seems to be the only way i can spend time alone with him without danger of launching into those infamous domestic tit-for-tat skirmishes. both as participant or spectator, i hate those domestic tit-for-tat skirmishes even more than i hate hiding behind vague stereotypes. hiding behind vague stereotypes is easy. just don't correct AssUMPtion. assumption is the greatest cloak of invisibility ever created. i can get away with quite a bit when surrounded by people who have underestimated me. it's kinda fun. tit-for-tat is a brutal sport. save me, please.
i have been in survival mode since the inheritance of my 3 orphans in 2019. our unconventional little family has stabilized far enough that survival mode is no longer productive, but getting myself out of survival mode is proving a challenge. hubs and i are doing great on collaborating on the childcare and his retirement career is looking stellar. me? ? ? i'm feeling like a beaten crazy bitch wolf whose greatest contribution to society is hastening my death by sitting in my quiet corner chain-smoking coffin nails. yes, officer, i am maintaining protective measures against the evils of second-hand smoke.
at present, i don't believe i'm going to solve this lifelong conundrum this morning, either. a temper flare last night convinced me that hubby is beyond his limit with my psychosis. again. it's a vicious psychosis and i don't like it any more than he does, but he has a choice in whether or not to take it. i feel obliged to respect his right to choose. time to initiate tit-for-tat evasion measures. my own business-as-usual is to leave him with his assumptions while i go in search of therapy for that psychosis.
dear god, i miss my live therapy network. i was new to this region and far from my established networks when the covidic yaddah blahs hit and the entire therapy world went virtual. with my hearing impairment, "virtual" still means "almost" and ? ? ? real time support seems to have taken up residence with telephone wires. what millennium are you from?
my plan just for today is tit-for-tat avoidance. methinks i will accomplish that with a wander day where i just get in the car and drive. anywhere but here.
i don't expect any of this to make a lick of sense to anyone. it certainly makes no sense to me, but? ? ? if it made sense, it wouldn't be a psychosis. sorting in progress. . . again i leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. i am crazier than usual today.
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And its already been noted by the weather service as heat advisory today thru Wed here.I have a rack of St. Louis Cut Pork Ribs. I will use a charcoal snake method of two rows on bottom shingled around about 3/4 of way on outside of the grill. Then on top of those I will shingle a single layer of briquetted same around 3/4 of grill. Adding some chunks of wood every 3-4 inches around the grill.I...
My husband also has a hearing impairment and a vision impairment so he sometimes misses words and that leads to him arguing. But everyone else thinks he is a wonderful man, he helps a lot of people and does a lot of volunteer work. He supports me and is helpful emotionally to me (most of the time). I think the holidays are stressful. Period.
I am having a pain flair and not in good shape myself. This will bring a low mood soon if I end up isolating at home. I had made plans because the family estrangement makes the holidays harder than I wish them to be. But I also know when I am crazier than usual today. I am not sure yet if today will be mellow or terrible.
So I wish you Merry Christmas and sending you love and light and hoping it all eases for you. While I don't share your psychosis as you called it, I do share the emotional and stress toll that the holidays can bring.
That mistaken words of vocabulary bring more confusion, chaos, and critical thinking pauses which make balancing of the world a lot more complex than people realize.
I'd say you're doing a terrific job of maintaining what most people consider 'normal' but is real work for those who deal with hearing loss of sense.
I know the difference between in person connection network and the 'virtual' network is significant enough that your accomplishments mean that much more!
Here's to you!
I remember my therapist saying to me to just let what my mother says roll off me like water off of a ducks back. She was a difficult person also. Good luck.
greeneyes
i was born into a nomadic child prostitute's life. crazy is normal-for-me. i escaped THAT level of crazy as quick as i could, but, at 69, i still don't understand the mainstream definitions of sanity. more than one person has nominated me for mayor of crazy town. if those particular people promise they won't be living there, i just might accept that nomination. taking ^it^ in small steps, big faith with lots of prayer.
i can buy part of your spiritual theory, but i buy the notion that the future is unknowable, even from the great beyond. i sense that i might, indeed, have chosen the challenge of being born into child prostitution, but don't feel so confident that i knew how the story would/will end. maybe i'm just showing my passion for mysteries.
thank you for understanding, mid. not many do. in my own case, theories abound, but my personal favorite theory is, "attenuation." i have a very hard time screening out the burrs and blips that travel across electrical lines. those blips and beeps are even worse across wireless nets. live sounds are soooooo much easier for me to interpret. then we get to the part of trying to read lips through the video stream lags. have fun. go ahead and start without me.
it's okay that you don't understand me, tired. i don't much understand me, either. congratulations on having found an effective method of handling the difficult people in your life.
i drove to the nearby metroplex and got lost. my inside joke is that i've been told to get lost so often that i developed a taste for it. such drives help me be okay with being lost. i don't need to have all the answers today.
the new step to today's whirl across the psycho stage is that i let hubby know i was off to ply well-used therapy tools. to date, my business as usual has been to take care of my own healing needs and leave him on the tit-for-tat field to call me whatever mean names/assumptions he's kicking up and down the field for this round. yes, dear, the other man is divine. like one dick in my life isn't one dick too many.
this time, i felt safe to speak truly and i even felt safe to come back for my afternoon nap. been back a while and STILL feel safe.
speaking of which. . .
THE KIDS ARE GONE! ! ! i get to nap in peace.
i'm the only person in the world who would call my hubs "high conflict." i often tease that his way of looking like the world's nicest guy is to stand next to the meanest bitch on the playground and to keep her well agitated for show. girl howdy, he can play me like an abused Stradivarius. the good news is that he's growing an awareness of when he is goading and backing off before he has to book another flight to the southern hemisphere to apologize. he hates flying. big men don't fit into airline seats comfortably.
thank you.