There are support groups available for people who have alcoholic relatives.

Rehab treatment is often successful when the alcoholic is ready to accept they have to change how they use alcohol to cope.

Oh, yes, first let me say that having a sibling alcoholic is hard especially if one's parents enable that sibling. I would like to suggest you get help for yourself through Al Anon or Families Anonymous. You won't believe what other people are going through.

Al Anon is not the AA part for the alcoholic. I found Al Anon to be ever so helpful when I was about to divorce an alcoholic, drug using spouse. I realized so much I didn't understand from attending and I saw there should be no shame because so many people have this issue or worse. I also have two in-laws that are alcoholic and we have to deal with their personality flaws and drinking habits (one is angry and volatile and one is depressed and passive).

All the grandchildren on my husband's side use or abuse substances big time. One of the in-law siblings taught her kids to drink with her in the high school years, yep was shocking to me. You can google the Al Anon website and read "So You Love an Alcoholic" pamphlet. It will help you understand and gain a wider perspective and learn to let go and let God as they say.

Do you pray? If yes, find the Serenity Prayer and say it morning and night and think about what it says. We have no power to control or change other people.

It is natural to find someone else's drug or alcohol problem disturbing and depressing. So often they make chaos in the house or family. You have to deal with your folks who rescued him and thus enabled him and the kids. You probably love the kids but they know daddy is a drunk and it affects them big time, too. The teenagers can go to Al a Teen with you if daddy allows.

The thing is, one can't have a real or reality based relationship with a substance abuser. We never know who will show up and what emotional state they are in, how high or how drunk that day.

That shame for your brother's actions yelling outside. Drop that. It is his shame not yours. That shame will keep you from learning to manage this relationship with him and with your parents. Shame makes things stay hidden. The problem is HIM and the neighbors know it. You can not like his behavior or be embarrassed but don't take on the shame of it. Not your shame to carry.

And if this is your mom and dad's house, they have the right to enable or rescue anyone they want. You have no power over who lives in that house if it is not your house. So this probably makes you feel a little defeated and hopeless to know your parents chose to bring this chaos in the house. They would say what else could they do as they can't allow him to live on the streets but Al Anon taught me this enables the alcoholic who hates themselves more, feels weaker, when they are rescued and enabled. Better to say no and keep the chaos, alcohol, anger, out of the house. Things can get very dysfunctional fast.

I wish you the best in dealing with this. Please seek one of these support groups for people like us. It will really help and if you go to one you don't like, you can easily find another Al Anon group that meets at another time. I went to one where the volunteer leader of the meeting would just cry and moan about her situation and I couldn't stand it. So I found a better one, more to my liking.

Not a sibling but my dad was an alcoholic. For 18 years I lived in the same house with him. It was never not dysfunctional, chaotic and toxic.

Families do not function healthily when one family member is an alcoholic living with them. I think the best approach is setting boundaries and creating emotional space. Try not to take on his BS. If your parents want to allow him to live there that is their choice unfortunately.

In my experience most family and friends either cut ties/set drastic boundaries with the person or they become enablers.

Look into Al Anon for sure. Very helpful. I will say that none of my friends really experienced what I went through or could relate to having relatives who were alcoholics or addicts either but that wasn’t a prerequisite for feeling like I had people to confide in or share my feelings with. I was very open with my friends about my dad’s drinking and its effect on me and my family.

Not getting enough sleep can really take a toll. It’s hard to work through stuff when feeling fatigued. Try to not get too ensconced in his antics. I know it’s hard.

i have 10 siblings and the ones who are not alcoholics abuse other mind altering drugs. then we get to the birth parents and adult children. ouch. should i include myself on that ouch parade? i often wish i could blame my yaddahs on mind altering substances, but i don't even need help to be bat shit crazy.

sigh. . .

i'm another who has found her best support through alanon. sitting in on open aa and na meetings helps tremendously, as well. for sure, trying to handle all that on my own fits my definition of insanity.

steadying support while you find what works for you, blue. gentle empathy on the difficulty of the challenge.

Thank you all for your incite. I am going to be looking into support groups for family of addicts, only because this does suck having to watch him be like that. And it's affecting my mental health. I'm trying to separate myself from the conversation with him because I can't do anything for him. He is in control of what he chooses and does.

I would worry about the kids in the home.
If he is supposed to be responsible for them I
would hold him to it.
Yes, I have a sibling who is an alcoholic --for years.
I tried to help her and support her and in the end
she did something that almost ruined my life
and family. She has no impulse control.

Dealing with an alcoholic sibling can be incredibly challenging, but seeking support and setting boundaries can help navigate this difficult situation. As for sighting in a red dot, start by mounting the sight securely on your firearm, adjusting windage and elevation to align with your target, then fine-tune your aim through trial and adjustment until you achieve pinpoint accuracy. Remember, patience and practice are key! Helpful Resources:- https://www.versatactical.com/how-to-sight-in-a-red-dot/

I can relate with you why because I have a brother who is had done drugs, alcohol, and other things which turned him into a Monstor. When he did not have these things in his system, he was a kind person who loved kids and they loved him. I remember when my mom used to run a daycare center, the kids in there really liked him a lot but when the urge to go out and live his life in a way that was not good, he was the Monster again. When he was on the drugs or drunk he would steal money from my mom, steal from me, try to harm my youngest brother in temps to get money from my mom. My childhood was ruined because of the likes of him (he was one of the reasons why my life was in distraught).

I remember when I was a kid how this particular brother, almost got killed 3 times, once was by people who said they were his friends. He was mouthy and his personality was horrible at times but we loved him and tried to help him if he let us. Today, he is no better. He is not on drugs and I don't know if he is drinking because I do not live in the same state as he does but I do know that his mouth is not cleaned because I had talked with him on the phone. He considers himself to be a Christian who at times really need to be in church. I agree to that. He is planning to move here in May because it seems like he is running from the state he is currently living at. He argues with his wife who thinks she is talking with star from one of the soap opera's (I have not seen them in years so I have no idea any of them. The stars I used to see on soaps back in the early 1980s are either dead or very sick.

Like you I had been looking for someone who can relate with me and understand what I am saying. I am not being mean but I can not stomach my brother's bull, I am going through enough stress already thanks to medical staff, paramedics, my mom got a diagnosis, and other things that is happening. We feel that because my brother is the way he is, he come to where we live, the police do not know him and may shoot him. Maybe I am wrong but the fear is there and it hurts to see my mom and youngest brother emotionally hurt too.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Facing situations like these are sure to take a toll on one's mental health and in these situations, going for therapy and spending time with people who understand you and make you feel safe are the best ways to feel good. You can also go and read mental health blogs available online ( I read at : https://yourmentalhealthpal.com/ ) which are also a good way of learning how to deal with things disrupting your mental health. Goodluck, takecare

I had an uncle that was an alcoholic, He fought in Vietnam.. He tryed to get help from AA, But, never stuck with it, and the disease killed him.

Great Uncles who fought in WW11, One, that I know of, Only drank on weekends, and was good to me and my cousins, And use to buy us baseball cards.

So, the fact that he only drank on weekends, says he tryed to control it.

Both of my grandfathers fought in WW11, One on Iwo jimma, And oneo one an POW........But, either one didn't drink.....They wouldn't be opposed to a drink, but, never had a problem. And another Uncle who fought in Vietnam, But, doesn't have issues.

So, I guess just depends, Alcohol effects people in different ways.

I hope he get's help, if not for him, You and his kid's........It sounds like he is good to his kids, He bought them ice cream.......So, maybe he'll get help for them.

God bless, hope it all works out

Don't feel embarrassed about your brother's behaviour or blame yourself. A long time ago I had a brother who was 4 years older than me. He would come home drunk every weekend and make a mess in the house., leaving me to clean it up. (Our mother had died a few years earlier). Our father eventually told him to go and find a place of his own and helped him do so.. A few years later (1973) he died of a brain haemorrhage, aged 29: a tragic solution to the problem.