Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi...I've been a member of this group for a while now but I don't think I have posted here yet.
I suffer from really bad anxiety...and I've noticed lately that sometimes during/after my anxiety has been really, really bad I feel emotionally numb...I don't know how else to describe it. I can still feel sad, guilty and anxious or nervous but not any 'good' emotions at all. They're just gone. It's just nothing inside me or the 'bad' emotions and it feels very scary...it also makes me feel guilty because I could be having the best day ever and there is just no happiness. I can't even feel love during the middle of it and the guilt of feeling this way is making me sick. I have a wonderful husband and I love him more than anything. But when I go numb I can't feel it. So I feel really guilty even though I know the love is still there and when the 'numb' period subsides I just feel more anxious that I felt that way in the first place.
I am just so glad no-one can see inside of me and tell how I am feeling when like that because I would hate for anyone to get the wrong idea about it.
Has anyone else ever experienced this?
Is it a symptom of my anxiety...I can't think of what else could be causing it.
It's starting to scare me.
Please any response would be great.
I suffer from really bad anxiety...and I've noticed lately that sometimes during/after my anxiety has been really, really bad I feel emotionally numb...I don't know how else to describe it. I can still feel sad, guilty and anxious or nervous but not any 'good' emotions at all. They're just gone. It's just nothing inside me or the 'bad' emotions and it feels very scary...it also makes me feel guilty because I could be having the best day ever and there is just no happiness. I can't even feel love during the middle of it and the guilt of feeling this way is making me sick. I have a wonderful husband and I love him more than anything. But when I go numb I can't feel it. So I feel really guilty even though I know the love is still there and when the 'numb' period subsides I just feel more anxious that I felt that way in the first place.
I am just so glad no-one can see inside of me and tell how I am feeling when like that because I would hate for anyone to get the wrong idea about it.
Has anyone else ever experienced this?
Is it a symptom of my anxiety...I can't think of what else could be causing it.
It's starting to scare me.
Please any response would be great.
Usually depression for me is this horrible sadness where I can't seem to move. And since the numbness was coming on in really anxious periods I thought it was because of that. It still really sucks what ever it is...I feel a little better knowing it's not just me I guess. I was really starting to freak myself out.
Thanks for replying
As I read your post I am reminded of many of the things my therapist taught me, one of which is, most people tend to make corrections in their behavior by employing the opposite extreme. What does this mean? In your example you are feeling high anxiety a lot of the time - this is one extreme. The extreme of feeling EVERYTHING. The opposite extreme is to feel nothing. This is the emptiness after. The goal is to bring both extremes together to find middle ground, a place where you feel positive and negative emotions but neither are overwhelming.
I know, from experience, that this is no easy task. It takes time to get these extremes to meet in the middle. But with practice it can be done. I would say the hardest part if figuring out what works for you so that you CAN bring them back to the middle. It is different for everyone. What you could try is forcing yourself to feel joy when you really don't. Someone in another board used the term "fake it until you make it". I love that saying because it is so true. If you fake being happy and feeling the joy eventually you WILL feel it.
Another thought I had was "What part of you doesn't want you to feel joy"? Is there a part of you who really doesn't think you deserve to feel the joy? I think this because when I was doing my healing from childhood sexual abuse I worked with my inner children. I have a phobia about throwing up yet every now and then I would get this thought in my head that said "I need to eat until I throw up" and the feeling that went along with it was that it was my punishment. For what I didn't know. My therapist had me take a long look at my inner children to find out which one thought we deserved to be punished this way. I did find her and I resolved this issue so now I no longer want to punish myself like this any more. It was very freeing - to say the least. This may work for you too if you ask the question "what part of me doesn't want me to feel happy?" You may not want, or like, the answer but if you do get one you will be better able to resolve this issue.
I hope you find your way through all of this soon. No one should have to feel so empty inside.
Take care
Also, vonnyzzz...I wanted to mention that my sister is on citalopram for anxiety and depression, and has done extremely well on it. From what I hear, Celexa is a pretty good SSRI for many people, and also tends to have few side effects. I tried Prozac months ago, and it didn't work out. I'm seriously considering giving the Celexa a try, after hearing good things about it. I really hope it helps you...keep us updated!
Nappapro84 Thanks for answering. Being around my husband...having him in my life is really the only thing holding me together. He's been the only thing for a long time. That's why I feel so guilty when I go numb around him. That never use to a happen. I feel like I am getting worse and worse.
LuckyEmpath Thanks for the advice and sharing your experiences...
I'll have to think about it a bit I think...I don' know whether part of me thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Maybe, but I can't think why. I do feel guilty about things very easily others being sad or upset or not having the good things in their lives that do makes me feel bad...I wonder if that could be it. I find 'fake it til you make it' quiet hard. Sometimes I try to push through and act happy even when I am numb or feeling very anxious. But most of the time it makes me feel sick.
One of the other things I have been feeling for a VERY long time is overwhelmed be emotion. This has been going on much longer then the numbness. It's like sometimes, everything just gets too much and makes me feel sick and anxious even when it's a good feeling or something that I want. The emotions just overwhelm me until I feel sick from anxiety, like my body thinks I'm doing something I don't want to do when I know that isn't the case. It doesn't happen al the time. But can be quite frequent. I am wondering whether the numbness (though it's a more recent symptom) is the other side of that. These last few weeks have just been awful. I haven't felt 'normal' much at all. It's going between numbness which makes me feel so guilty to being so overwhelmed I think I need to run (which makes me feel guilty) and very frustrated with myself for not enjoying the good things that are going on. This has been happening for a while now but these last few weeks have been worse.
WildFlowers44 Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well.
'Dissociated' that is a good way to describe the feeling I've been having. It may be the case...my mind just wants to stop the feelings...I really wish it wouldn't do that.
CatHaven Yes I do feel empty a lot...I don't know why. I can't think of what could be missing in my life exactly. There is a lot of stress to do with my family and there always has been...but yeah I do feel empty sometimes and I can't think of what I need to fill the hole.
Just thought I would chime in on this. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression a few months ago and I can certainly sympathize with you on the empty no emotion feelings. At first it was getting a lot better and conquering the anxiety, however, I think in some weird way I wouldn't allow myself or felt like I didn't deserve letting go of it. Therefore I would start the cycle all over again. I think the thought of having to deal with anxiety is what makes us feel that way. Even if we wanted to get excited about something, we realize that our anxiety would get in the way which can be discouraging and heart breaking at the same time. I will tell you however, there is hope. I started Zoloft almost two weeks ago. Still having anxiety, however, have had some very good days and the medicine I feel is helping tear down the subconscious wall that was preventing me from freeing myself of the anxiety. I will have days now where I feel engaged/intrigued/happy/curious and my thoughts seem much more clear. I'm finding the key if you can do it is to not try. Just don't try so hard. Just be. Sometimes we feel like we have to wrap our arms around life and have control or we are helpless. The key is to realize that before we dealt with these problems we were just fine in the flow of life and happy. If we stop trying to make it happen, it will happen on its own. It's okay to still feel weird and unsure and even sceptic at first....just allow those feelings to be there and don't try one way or the other just be. It will happen.