Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have been struggling on and off for over 20 years with anxiety. It has caused bouts of extreme irritability and depression in my life. Over the past couple of years it has taken on a life of it's own in regards to my son. He is 18 and recently graduated from High School. He has been driving for over a year and now has a job. On his days off he goes out with friends doing God knows what. He is my only child and I worry about something bad happening to him constantly when he is out. Frequently the thoughts spiral out of control and I end up with a panic attack. Not only has it made my daily life horrible it affects both my husband and my son. They do not understand me as thankfully neither of them suffer with this debilitating mental illness. It has gotten so bad that I have prayed at night to not wake up in the morning. To add to salt to my wounds I was recently laid off from a job that I liked. Now, I feel even worse about myself. I get to worry about finances too....oh joy! Unfortunately therapy is out of the question as I am unemployed now. If anyone has any advice on how they cope please feel free to share. Thanks for listening!
-"OMG! What-if my son (fill in the blank)...." - What-if statements feed anxiety so as soon as you recognize you are using them try to diffuse them by saying "It is unlikely that ... will happen." or any other statement that feels right to you but diffuses the What-if statement
-"I lost my job. What-if I never find another one" - this is another What-if statement so it's time to diffuse it. Change this to "I AM going to get another job and I WILL get it within 3 months".
It's amazing what positive talk can do to diffuse these What-if statements. There is another user here, AdventureGuide, who has a 12 week program in her journals. If you friend her you can follow the 12 week program to help you with the type of thinking you are struggling with right now.
Hang in there. You can get through this.
Take care
What I've done to help my anxiety level (as well as prep them for real life) is to tell them the house rules. These are rules that apply to all of us. For safety sake (and my own anxiety) we have a white board by the front door. They put up their schedule for work or adventures that will take them away for longer than a few hours. And when they go out, they need to tell me where they're headed and how long they'll be.
That's just common courtesy. If they have a room-mate or partner and just take off for an entire day, there will likely be issues. I don't hold them to a curfew as they are older, but I do ask them to tell me when they'll be back and to text if they'll be later so I know they're okay.
It's pretty simple - "Heading out to dinner and a movie. Back at 11 pm." And it's a house rule. I need to tell them where I am and when I'll be back too.
There's no getting drunk at the house. If they have friends who smoke - they need to do it outside. There are quiet hours. Etc.
When you have anxiety, it should be taken into consideration like diabetes or any other chronic condition. Reasonable allowances should be made by those who love you.
Additionally, I recently had a blood test and they found that I have the MTHFR gene mutation that predisposes me to anxiety. They fixed it with methylized folate and B12 and I haven't had anxiety at all for two weeks. REALLY weird after having had anxiety for 45 years! But it's a welcome weirdness!