Hi, I wanted to respond to your story because I'm in the same situation right now. I'm a full-time English instructor at a university and I also teach part-time at another university. Both positions require a lot of hours teaching and preparing for class and I'm exhausted all the time. Unfortunately, in my current full-time position, I'm actually classified as a secretary and paid accordingly even though I'm required to have an advanced degree (which I do). It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I'm classified as a secretary so the university could avoid having my position be part of the faculty union. It's unfair as hell, but I desperately need even this small salary or I will lose my house and not be able to take care of my kids. I'm currently looking for a new job, which is grueling and disheartening. I spend most days alternating between horrible anxiety and depression which just makes it even harder to get through the day and do what I have to do. The financial instability coupled with the anxiety and anger at not being paid fairly lead further into depression. I feel like I'm working as hard as I can but just getting nowhere and I'm terrified. Sorry to unload here, but I guess it does kind of help to get it down in print.

What if you did one wedding every weekend and charged $500/$600??

Well, when I broke up with my husband nearly 7 yrs ago I had no job, because I had just resigned due to severe undiagnosed anxiety - I could not work. I had a $550 a week mortgage, I had 2 teenaged kids, I had sky, I had all sorts of costs. At that point I had done secondary type jobs for years, administration, secretarial work, because as a mother I hadn't finished a degree and got a career.

I went through a nervous breakdown for the next few years, but that didn't matter. I had to work. I took medication because I had to work. it didn't matter how many hours a night I had to spend in bed crying in terror, I still had to show up and work a full day next day, because I had to provide.

I looked for jobs, I got jobs. Whatever jobs. I had an ad in the paper for cleaning and window washing. I sold new build houses. I worked on an orchard. I jettisoned my belongings, sold things and downsized, and downsized, and I found ways to lower my costs. That was really key. I lowered my costs drastically, and saved every dollar I could. I was in a constant state of extreme anxiety. I got cheap rent. I got rid of sky. we ate daal. I drank the cheapest instant coffee, I rationed milk. I quit smoking, I quit any drinking. I stopped everything I could possibly manage to stop. .. I grew veges. I went nowhere, I did nothing. And I saved like crazy.

I got a stable office job adn I studied. I worked my guts up to become a better employee no matter that I was badly paid. Every year I asked for a performance review. Every year I had study to show my boss. I had improved. My last wage rise was nearly $7,000, about 4 months ago.

I bought my first apartment 1 1/2 yrs ago. It was a very cheap very tiny apartment and I only just had the deposit. I did it up at night after work, we lived there for maybe a year. I saved like crazy to get another deposit. After a year living there I got it revalued and it was worth much more due to the work I had done, and due to it having been a steal when I got it. It was very very small: 650 square feet with half of that taken up by a crazy huge hallway/stairwell. A tiny townhouse, no room to sit on the floor in any single room of the house to do stretches if that says anything. Badly designed. But the value went up from 80k (very very cheap for New Zealand capital city) to $130,000 (still extremely cheap) and I used that revaluation to get another unit.

this one is slightly larger, one level, 800 square feet and 1/8 acre back yard all flat and sunny! In a slum, lots of cops and murders - but still. I keep to myself.

Now I have my home and my 'old age pension', I don't need to save the same. We eat good quality sausages instead of hotdogs. I buy chicken breast on special, and beef mince, and we do quite well on it. I still only buy on special though, and I am wearing the work clothes I bought a year ago. But I have relented enough to have the heater going in winter. I even bought some chalkboard paint and did a cupboard in the kitchen last week. I bought chalk and wrote the house rules on it. The daughter has been decorating the house rules with pictures.

I think being squeezed through the eye of a needle is good for a person. You jettison everything that is not absolutely important. it cleans you out like a dose of worming tablets.

I don't know what you can do Koolman but I tell you this: If you don't have your own home by retirement, you're screwed. It won't matter how much you love photography if you haven't the money for a camera, living under that bridge.

So you need to either lower your expenses or increase your income until you are saving enough money to get a result. And factor in inflation also. If you're not saving faster than inflation, you're losing. And if you're not saving fast enough to give you a home by retirement age, you are throwing away years with nothing to show. You are losing years every year. That's life you're losing. You have to have something to show for it at the end.

Chihuahua: Sorry for your woes. Universities are notoriously cheap.

Kenz: I could charge $500-$600 a wedding, but most people wouldn't pay it. I'd be lucky to get one of those every 2 months.

Bridgie: I've got 18 years to go on a 30-year mortgage. If I'm still alive at the end of 18 years and I haven't been too late on payments, I'll own my home.

You can check into lowering your mortgage payment to lower interest rate if that would help. I know what you mean about charging photography session rates. I'm not sure what would help with expenses, because the cost of everything is so much. I do know that sometimes, taking on a part-time job for a specific item cost often helps relieve some of the anxiety associated with financial issues. I know that a lot of photographers have lowered their prices to stay in active payment status, so agree with you on that. Please know you are not alone.

That's crazy. Where I live people charge like $3,000 and so many people pay it.