Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi everybody,
I am writing this post because I no longer know what to do. I believe that I have a paranoid personality disorder, and that it is mostly apparent in my relationship with my fiance. I also have extreme levels of anxiety. I am 24 years old and we have been together since I was 18 and he was 22 (he is now 28).
Over the years, my insecurities and trust issues have manifested into extreme and constant paranoia/anxiety about EVERYTHING he does and says. I am ashamed to even go into detail about the ridiculous measures I take in order to confirm that what he tells me is the truth. It is so crazy to me because I am completely aware of my paranoia and feel guilty about it during the day when we are both at our own jobs and I have the time to collect myself. But when I am around him and in the moment I have the uncontrollable need to get reassurance and confirm that he is being honest about every single little thing.
I have access to his phone records, his phone password, his email account and all of his social media. I do my best to not go through things, but even when I do there is absolutely nothing that I find that suggests him being dishonest or unfaithful. For the most part, I believe that he has been faithful to me throughout our relationship. But my paranoia and possibly OCD constantly sabotage me from being happy with him and appreciating him. It's as though I do not even live life anymore. I am constantly on my toes, searching for discrepancies and lies.
I know I sound like a total b*tch, and trust me I really do feel like one quite often, but I am working on this every day and trying to gain understanding as to why I can't stop myself from repeating this behavior.
Any insight is truly appreciated.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
This particular situation has a simple remedy. It's not easy to follow through, however, the first step is recognizing that you have this behavior pattern.
Take a moment to reset the button. Rewind to taking responsibility for your thoughts, and use other options in the moment to change your response to your thoughts for your well-being.
That's how simple it is. That's how hard it is. Finding what works in the moment will help you move forward.
Anxiety is natural. So use those sensations to help you change your response.
Focus on you, not anyone else. This is yours, not anyone else's.
Best wishes. You are much stronger than you realize.
You obviously care about him and want the relationship to work. I hope you are able to do that, whether it's with therapy or alternative therapies, but don't waste time feeling guilty and blaming yourself! It just makes things worse! Plus I think part of trusting others is learning to love and trust yourself!
I hope that helps and I hope things get better <3
I'd love giving you a hand with that