Hey,
I completely understand. Any litte thing can set me off. Somehow a certain event can just trigger off all the little thoughts you have in your head that make you feel anxious. I like to have a happy place/time to think of and a certain body motion associated with it - like clenching of fist etc to help take me there if the anxiety sets in.
Hope you have a great time with your kids
Tony

panicrelief.co.uk

i'm sorry you are feeling that way, Red. Any stupid thing can set me off. It is ridiculous and illogical. I have just learned to accept it. All I can say is try to be happy that you will be with your children and try to believe it will be fun and positive. Your ex is obviously upset so at least you know it has nothing to do with you. I'll be thinking of you.
--Gem

Hey Red, Remember its ok to have a some anxiety. If we didn't have anxiety we wouldn't be able to live. What keeps us from going 150MPH on the highway? Yup anxiety.

You have to remember its only anxiety it can't kill us.

I am sorry that you are feeling that way too. For me anxiety can come for no reason or along with a trigger. I am so anxious about xmas and having to talk to all those family members and new people. Answering questions and going small talk.....jsut not me. for some people this thing would be exciting (going to see family anf friends) I think anxiety is different for all people and for all diff reasons

I am sure that the anxiety dide not come out of nowhere. It is perfectly natural to have anxiety since you are taking your kids and haven't seen them inb a while. You are probably putting all these anxious thoughts in your head like: what if they don't want to be here, what if we run out of things to do or say, what if I don't want to be with them then boom anxiety hits. Don't beat your self for having unpleasant thoughts about your ex. It is over with. Don't dwell on it. You responded the way any other person would have. You wiull be fine. Just enjoy them a much as you can. Don't expect perfection from yourself or the time spent with your kids. Have fun!

Thanks for all your comments, I did enjoy having them over and they all behaved really well, sometimes my partners son can play up in front of my girls its sort of understandable as he is an only child, but he was excellent this weekend - I shall praise him later.

We didn't do that much, gave the girls their Xmas presents early as I wont see them till the new year, that was nice. I enjoyed their company.

The anxiety however is quite bad, travelling to pick them up I had pins and needles in my hands and arms, dry mouth, wobbly legs, going out with them in town and even to a fast food place triggered my anxious state, I even had to get my partner to drive them back today to meet with my ex which is downright silly of me but I awoke anxious (shakes) this morning. - A few months back none of this would have been a problem.

I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, its a little embarrassing as well, having to explain to the kids, why dad is bit broken at the moment. - I really appreciate your comments guys, it makes me feel somewhat normal knowing there is other folks that can understand what is going on.

Red, I completely understand. All in all you did very well. You enjoyed some of the time and the kids sound like they were happy. Right now none of us can be 100% and that is okay. We still get a passing grade when we make a big effort! I have found that the klonopin I just was put on is helping. do you take anything for the acute anxiety? I have the shakes kind of bad but don't know if that is from the klonopin or the lexapro which I started a week ago. Other than that, I think I am beginning to feel a tiny bit better. Glad you got through the weekend so well. Don't worry about the kids. They are very accepting of parents with problems. It actually helps them communicate better. They know we aren't perfect and they don't have to be either.
--Gem