Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety is jeopardising my job

Jossi10
Jossi10

I have suffered anxiety for a long time and the last 2-3 years have been particularly bad. I am struggling more and more at work, and am currently past a deadline for an important project - which makes the anxiety even worse. Some of the stress is work related down to funding and cutbacks, and altogether its just made it very difficult for me to get my s**t together and do what I'm supposed to do. I have that voice in my head constantly screaming at me that I'm stupid and useless, and when I sleep I have horrendous nightmares. It's exhausting. 


The main reason for writing this is because I'm so tired putting on a front so that no one can see how totally I'm falling apart; I need to let it out somehow. I know that when things come to a head at work (which I suspect will happen this week) I will get no sympathy from people who will have no idea how much I'm struggling, and I'm hoping I can maybe get a little bit of  that support here. I just need somewhere I can be honest since I don't  have that IRL. 


I really struggle to see a way out and I feel as if I will (or already have) screw up my life and career irreparably. I'm letting people down, and I know I'm better than this. It makes me so incredibly sad. 

AngelWingsPeace
AngelWingsPeace
You're not letting anyone down. Please keep your head up. I only work fastfood, but when I started having things trigger my anxiety, I had a word with my boss about it. She knows I always give 100%, but some managers had been yelling at me and even though that's their job, it was causing panic attacks and I felt like she needed to know, mainly so they wouldn't think I was crazy for hyperventilating. When I told her, she didn't try to alter me, she altered my work environment. She told the other managers that it was a trigger for me and to not be so rough on me, and then she told me if they continued to let her know. I can't promise that will be the case with you, because I don't know your boss. I do know that a lot of people have more compassion and understanding than we think they do though. It might have a better outcome if you tell them, so they can help you around it. Also, if you have the opportunity to get professional help and maybe find out where your anxiety is coming from that would be good. That will make it easier to cope with and heal. If you already know what it's coming from, even better. That's one step closer to getting rid of it forever. I wish you the best! Xx -Angel
Jossi10
Jossi10
Thank you for replying, it means a lot.

I have been getting help on and off, was on anti-anxiety meds but didn't find they helped too much. I have also had counselling which I found useful but can't afford at the moment. I'm going to speak to my boss today, and also contact my work's mental health team as I may be able to get some counselling through there. The thing is I think I've left it too late, I should have spoken to someone long ago about this instead of letting it all crash down. I've had some emails over the last couple of days that make me feel sick; there's a client that has been let down badly in this and I can't pretend it's not my fault. I may be due disciplinary action over this.

Everything feels so hopeless. I think about what I used to be like, so motivated and driven and good at my job and now I'm just a mess who can't even perform my duties adequately. I try not to go down the "everyone would be better off without me" route but it is often how I feel.
Emerald0743
Emerald0743
sometimes its hard to reach out I suffered in silence for a long time because I didnt think anyone would understand and/or they would think I was full of shit and its not your fault you are not well right now its not fair to blame yourself you wouldnt blame someome who was physically Ill right so dont do that to yourself either I found the more I reached out and talked about my anxiety and panic attacks the less power they had over me now I am able to recognize it and talk myself down which is huge because I use to have panic attacks back to back anxiety 24/7 and felt out of control and hopeless I went crying to a mental hospital, and I also came close to calling an ambulance one night I was going through derealization at the time too and started having irrational fears like the world was made up in my mind or like I would float away literally into space I was in a really bad place and felt like I would never be the same again I felt literally insane but here I am 95% better Its possible prior to my recent pregnancy and abortion I hadn't had any panic attacks or anxiety for almost 2 1/2 years
nightingale77
nightingale77
Hi there, glad that you unloaded here. This is a safe space for you to download. It's never too late to seek help and talk to somebody about it. Yes, there will be consequences to some of the things that wasn't dealt with when you were trying to keep yourself together.

Yes, you might face disciplinary action. But you know what? You have the courage to stand up and admit that you are facing some issues. It's true that you might have let somebody down during these period but you are very sincere in trying to make things right for yourself and the people around you. It's a very brave thing to do and I hope you are proud of that. Please press on in getting help and takin your medication. I hope the disciplinary action will not dampen your spirit in trying to get better. We are cheering for you! Be well and take care! God Bless!
AMC_306
AMC_306
Nightingale77 makes some good points. It is possible that while you were sick you may have messed up at work. But that's okay. At this point it is over and done with as far as the client goes and there isn't anything you can do to change the past, but you can change the future. Humans are fallible creatures and absolutely nobody is 100% perfect. It is never too late to ask for help. You may even feel better just by speaking with your boss at work and letting them know that you are ill. Sometimes getting everything out in the open can be a relief - rather than keeping secrets and making yourself miserable.