Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
hey guys! If anyone could, please give me a few tips or pointers! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby girl in September and I love them both so very much. But my relationship has been struggling A LOT lately. I already had super bad anxiety through college and what not and now being pregnant it’s even worse. I always think the worst of situations, I pick at my lips ALL THE TIME, etc. I try talking to my fiancé about it and he tells me to “let that shit go. Anxiety is just all made up in your head. It’s bull shit.” And this really hurts me and bothers me because I really do love him so much and I want this to work so bad but I don’t know anyway to possibly get him to understand how I feel and my thoughts and what not. Please if anyone has any advice on how to talk to him and help him understand I am free to all options!!
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
It sounds like a simple lack of education on his part. It seems like he's under the impression that you're making this up and that you're trying to justify the behavior (the lip-picking) and the worries with something that you're "making up." It's difficult to talk to someone like that because they've made up their mind about what it is and in my experience, those types of people can be very narrow-minded and aren't willing to empathize.
But remember that you're in this together, and the problem isn't going to go away by his constantly brushing you off.
My advice would be to perhaps try providing him with some legit resources that explain anxiety and why it happens to certain people, and remind him that his support and reassurance is way more helpful than being talked down to. He's going to be your husband, after all - his support and understanding is more important than anyone else's because, ideally, you're going to share the rest of your life together.
Maybe if he could read some information from some reputable sources, he'd be more likely to understand that this is a real problem that many of us struggle with all the time, for various reasons. And that just because it's not something he experiences, doesn't make your experience "made up."
After all, why would someone CHOOSE to feel like this?
It's so hard to get that across to someone who doesn't have a clue what it's like.
I hope he'll be a little more supportive in the future, and that you can start your life together - and your child's life - out on a high note.
Yup, explaining this stuff to others is even harder than explaining it to ourselves. Add in the stress and shock of pregnancy and ouch upon ouch. Easy does it. It's allot to process.
Have you talked to your OB/Gyn about this? Is there any chance of your doctor talking to him about what's going on? Perhaps he/she could provide you with some of the resources Rose suggested.
Keep us posted, Arkansas. Welcome aboard.
Gentle support while you work it through.
I imagine we all seem like over-sensitive, scared little lambs to people who don't live with such a problem.
It's his job to support and encourage you where he can, from the perspective of a person who does not "get it" but he also can't fight it for you. You need to figure out your ideal coping techniques and use them as often as anxiety threatens to arrest your life. Doing your research will help you out just as much!
Again, patience with him, but patience with yourself, too.
I hope you're feeling better today!